Cycle of Violence
by DramaLexy
Summary: What if Kara had been left behind on New Caprica? Spoilers up to S3x04: Exodus, AU from there on. KaraLee eventually.
1. Prologue

TITLE: Cycle of Violence

AUTHOR: DramaLexy

SUMMARY: What if Kara had been left behind in the second exodus? A lot of damage can be done to a person in three years. Spoilers up to Exodus, AU from there on. Kara/Lee eventually.

DISCLAIMER: Oh, if they were mine…but they're not, so don't sue.

DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just ask me first

A/N: This got started after pilotlover suggested that I take a look at a plot bunny that littlebit6271 put on Beyond Insane. So, I have to give credit to both of them. The basic idea was that Sam never found Kara on New Caprica, so she stays with Leoben and keeps thinking Kacey is hers. A few years later, they get back to Galactica and have to deal with the repercussions of their time away. It took me a long time to get this all worked out (sorry! End-of-the-semester sucks!!), but I finally did. Special thanks to my muse for getting me going when my mind was too tired from school to cooperate. This wound up being pretty dark, so you have been forewarned.

* * *

It was quiet when she awakened. That was the first thing she noticed. Usually Raiders were constantly patrolling the city from the air, engines screaming as they flew overhead. Now, there was nothing. New Caprica City was quiet. 

Kara got up, gently prodding at the forming knot on the back of her head, and went back downstairs. The quiet was forgotten as she noticed that Kacey was quietly playing on the floor and hadn't gotten into any trouble. _What the frak was he thinking, leaving her here with me unconscious?_ she wondered to herself.

"You okay?" she asked the little girl, who nodded, offering up the blocks that she'd been keeping busy with. Kara reached to take the toy – and then happened to glance out the window. She suddenly realized why it was so quiet.

Small fires were still burning in what was left of the shanty-town, but there wasn't really much left. Guard towers had been destroyed, Raiders had been shot down, and pieces of a few centurions were littered about. Bodies were lying in the streets as well, snow gently falling upon them. As Kara took in the whole scene, she slowly began to realize what had happened. The Colonial ships that had been parked at the south end of the city were gone; the second exodus had occurred, and just like her husband had been the first time, she'd been left behind. Abandoned on a worthless rock with no escape.

Kara gave Kacey her blocks back and went up the staircase two at a time. She wasn't accepting defeat that easily; there had to be some way to get off the planet. She'd gut another downed Raider if she had to, if that would get her away. She was NOT going to stay.

The door was unlocked, like it had been on a few occasions before. Leoben had never really worried about it because there was no way she was getting past the bars. However, he hadn't counted on the amount of damage that would be caused by the resistance. A large piece of Raider-shrapnel had put a decent-sized hole in the wall at the opposite end of the corridor. Freedom beckoned.

Kara ran back inside to see that Kacey was at the bottom of the stairs, waiting and watching. She scooped the little girl up and took her along as she made her way through the rubble. The air smelled burnt in the worst way. "Come on, honey," she told Kacey, climbing over a few slabs of wall in order to get to the ground. "We're going to get out of here."

Everything was eerily empty. It was odd to be walking through the city after being caged for four months, separated from it. They'd had so many hopes for that planet; the Cylons had taken all of that away from them.

Turning around a half-way collapsed tent, Kara stopped short when she came face to face with Leoben. He offered her a small smile. "Where are you going, Kara?"

She didn't answer, just turned around to go a different way. It creeped her out to no end to find a Simon model blocking her path. She could have done without ever seeing the doctor again. "We're not going to stay here!"

"You belong with me, Kara," Leoben explained, eternally patient as always. "We are a family." He nodded slightly to Simon, who reached for Kacey. The little girl shrieked with surprise.

"Stay the frak away from her," Kara warned him, her eyes fierce.

Leoben knew that all of his plans had worked perfectly. He now had the ideal piece of leverage. "This is where you belong," he told Kara. "Here with me and our little girl. You can't leave; I will find you. You can't kill me; I will come back. We're going home now, because you don't have any other options." He extended a hand and waited for her to take it. Apparently feeling she'd hesitated long enough, Simon once more reached for Kacey. The child burst into tears as he tried to pull her away. Kara was torn; there was no way in hell that she was leaving Kacey to Leoben or any other Cylon, but at the same time, they couldn't stay on this planet…

"Mommy!" Kacey whimpered, and she knew what she had to choose, at least for the time being.

"We'll stay!" she finally decided. Simon immediately stopped the human tug-o-war for Kacey.

Leoben smiled. "Let's go home," he said.

As she followed him back to her prison, Kara swore to herself that nothing on this planet would ever be home. Right now, home was out somewhere amid the stars.

* * *

TBC... 


	2. Chapter 1

Kara dug her heels in at first, still unwilling to completely concede control of her life. She was far too proud, too strong for that. She decided not to eat for a day, and in return Leoben decided not to offer her food for two. She spent an entire night watching the darkened ruins of the city instead of sleeping, and he drugged her the next evening so that she would go to bed. He worked every day to teach her that every aspect of her life was under his control – she only had freedoms because he gave them to her. Her life was no longer her own, it was THEIR life together and THEIR family that mattered.

Kara never took anything out on Kacey. She was learning to love the little girl more every day. They spent as much time together as possible. Kara had never realized what an amazing thing a child's imagination was. Every night when it was time for bed, they would tell little stories until Kacey fell asleep. It was Kara's favorite time of the day.

Her least favorite time, however, was meals. She knew that the Cylons were making supply runs to New Caprica still; every couple of weeks, they got shipments of food and clothes and toys for Kacey. Kara hadn't seen any of the other models on the planet, but knew that they came. Leoben would sometimes go meet with them for a few hours when they arrived. By the time nearly two months had passed since the exodus, Kara had their schedule memorized pretty well.

"It's pasta night, right?" she asked one night as she brought Kacey into the dining room. Leoben looked up from the plates he was setting down on the table.

"Yes," he replied as he went to turn on the light over the table. "Why?"

Kara smiled slightly. "Supply run was three days ago."

"Are you trying to tell me you find the menu boring?"

"And predictable," she replied.

"I'll work on that," he told her with a bit of a smirk as he sat down. She cringed inwardly as he quickly said grace for the meal. She couldn't believe there was any kind of God that would look kindly upon what was happening on that planet. Thanking Him for the food that Leoben was sharing with his hostages seemed like a cruel joke.

Kacey decided to ignore her fork and turn the long noodles into finger food. Kara didn't even try to stop her; she had bigger things to worry about that night. "Is there any more?" she asked Leoben as she finished the helping that had been on her plate. He smiled.

"Looks like someone's gotten their appetite back," he commented, referring to her hunger strike, before getting up and heading towards the kitchen. He returned with another plate, which he put down in front of her after picking up the old one.

Kara looked up at him, forcing a genuine smile into place. "Thank you." And then, while his guard was still down, she jabbed her fork into his neck.

"Mommy?" Kacey asked, bewildered.

"Close your eyes, Kace," Kara told her, and the little girl obeyed, although she had started crying.

"Wh-what a-are…" Leoben tried to choke out as he lay dying on the floor.

"Game's over," she told him, and watched the life disappear from his eyes.

Turning around, she lifted Kacey from her chair, ignoring the fact that the little girl was calling, "Daddy? Daddy?" over and over as Kara took her up the stairs. Just like she'd had hoped, the door to their apartment had been left open. She'd found a small screwdriver the other day, and was hoping it would work well as a lock picker for the bars. Much to Kara's surprise, the metal gate creaked open before she was even able to get the screwdriver in the lock. Not questioning it, she slipped through and took off down the hallway at a run, looking for the door to outside. There had to be a ship somewhere in the city, something that had been left behind when all of the Cylons cleared out.

Kacey was still whimpering and sniffling by the time they reached the darkened landing strip, confused and frightened. Kara was sure that her desperation was rubbing off on the little girl, but didn't have time to worry about it. Once they were off the planet, she'd do her best to explain everything.

The strip was empty, completely devoid of ships in both working and non-working form. Kara continued searching the industrial district, refusing to believe what she already knew. There were no ships left in the city. There was no way off the planet.

Panic was starting to set in. There had to be something somewhere. She couldn't just be stuck here; she couldn't be this helpless! The Cylons couldn't have complete control over her –

And then she remembered the door. Both the apartment and the gate had been left wide open, inviting her to try to escape. Leoben had to have known she would try. So why would he just let her get away? Why wouldn't he try to stop her? Unless…unless he already had. Unless he knew that the door had no point and the bars had no point because there was absolutely nowhere for her to go. There was no escape. Even if she did somehow manage to get a ship, where would she go? Galactica had left her, and she had no idea where the fleet was. The Colonies were in the hands of the Cylons, as were Kobol and now New Caprica. There was truly nothing that Kara could do for herself or her daughter. Her prison had been expanded to include the entire planet, but it was still a prison just the same.

"Mommy? Mommy?" Kacey was incessantly asking between little sobs. "Mommy, what's going on?" Kara felt tears running down her own face. She'd honestly never been so terrified, not even when she'd found herself in the farm on Caprica. Was there even a point to fighting anymore? To living?

A high-pitched whine filled the air as a ship descended out of the dark sky to set down on the landing strip. Two figures jumped out of the back – one humanoid, one mechanized – before the Heavy Raider rose into the sky once more and departed. Kara knew exactly who it was. She didn't even try to run or hide, just waited. There wasn't anywhere to run to.

* * *

Externally, Leoben had the perfect mask of patience on his face, but inside, he was beginning to get more frustrated. Dying was not a fun process, and this was now the sixth time she'd killed him. Her spirit was one of the things he loved about her, but it wasn't supposed to be this hard to make destiny come to pass. He took in the fact that she was simply standing and waiting for him to find her, out in the semi-darkness of the abandoned industrial park, with a tearful and frightened child in her arms. A lesson had to be learned, and he had to be the one to teach it. 

"We're going inside," he told Kara as he approached her, reaching to take Kacey. She cautiously handed the toddler over. Leoben led them both back inside with the Centurion in tow, and down the corridor of holding cells. At one point, he stopped and handed Kacey to the machine behind him. "Take her down the hall," he commanded.

"What are you doing?" Kara asked, lunging toward the metal death machine. Leoben grabbed her, holding her back with surprising strength. "Let go of me!"

"I'm sorry I have to do this, Kara, but you've left me no choice," he said, pushing her backwards. She stumbled through the open doorway into a darkened cell.

"What the frak?!?" she screamed as he started to close the door, running forward to try and stop him. It was too late. She heard the lock click, and viscously banging on and kicking the door didn't have any effect. "You can't do this! Do not leave me in here!"

She could hear his footsteps walking away, could hear Kacey crying again. She was supposed to be protecting the little girl; who knew what would happen without her there? "Frak, Leoben, please! Don't do this. Don't take her!" Silence was her only answer. "Please!" she screamed, again and again until her throat was raw. "Please, don't do this!!"

* * *

TBC... 


	3. Chapter 2

After hours of alternating between screaming at Leoben and bitterly crying to herself, Kara was finally overtaken by sleep. Her dreams were no less disturbing than her reality. She found herself trapped in a small dark space, and could hear the sound of a frightened child crying. It took a moment too long for her to realize that she was the one making the noise.

The door in front of her was yanked open, and a hand grabbed her arm, roughly pulling her to her feet. The back of that same hand smacked her across the face. "What the frak did I tell you?" her mother asked.

"To keep quiet," she whimpered.

"So what in the Gods' names are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Mommy, but I'm hungry." That got her another blow to her already stinging cheek.

"You're going to be a lot hungrier if you don't shut up!" She was shoved back into the hall closet of their crappy apartment and the door closed once more with a resounding bang.

* * *

Kara woke up with a start. That scene that had played out several times during her early childhood when her mother's bed-warmer-of-the-week hadn't liked children. She would get banished to the hall closet for a few days while her mother got a few good fraks. Her school had been under the impression that she had a deathly ill parent because her excuse for her absences was always that she had to take care of her mother. She'd learned early that crying would only bring her pain. Sometimes, if she was really quiet and careful, she could sneak out to get a little food from the kitchen without her mother noticing. After entering the Colonial Military, she'd always been amazed by the fact that she hadn't found fighter cockpits to be claustrophobic or devices for dredging up bad memories. However, that wasn't the case with the dank and dimly lit little hole that Leoben had thrown her into.

There was no way to tell from inside the concrete cell that it was morning. She'd been stuck in there for over twelve hours, and jumped when she heard the door creak open. Leoben stepped into the room and just stood there for a long moment, watching her.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. Kara didn't answer. "I love you, Kara, you know that, but you terrified our daughter last night. I won't allow that. I won't let you hurt her. I needed you to remember that."

She looked down, taking a shuddering breath and feeling like she'd been stripped wholly bare to his eyes. He knew too much about her. He knew what he could use against her and exactly how to do it. It wasn't a relationship of trust so much as fear. And there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

"I would never touch her," she promised.

"We both know there are a lot of different ways to hurt a child."

Kara swallowed hard. "I'll remember," she forced herself to say.

"I wanted Kacey to be with us, to be a family now, but she doesn't have to stay here." And he knew that would get her. She could fight him on anything else – would gladly fight him on EVERYTHING else – but his control over her access to Kacey was one thing he could count on her to give in to.

"No," Kara said, and hated herself for it. "I won't…She can stay. I-I won't do anything like that."

"I have your word, Kara?"

She couldn't even look at him. "I promise."

Leoben smiled. "Good." He extended a hand to her. "Let's go home. I have breakfast waiting."

Kara let him lead her back to their apartment. She was on her best behavior for the rest of that day, and the next, and the next. She told herself it was okay to get wrapped up in the world of make-believe that Leoben had created because it hurt less that way. She wasn't going back in that cell again, and she wasn't going to lose Kacey.

* * *

One afternoon, while she played blocks with her daughter on the living room floor, Leoben came over and handed her a coat. "What's this for?" Kara asked him.

"I thought you might like to go outside." She just stared at him for a long moment, looking for the catch, but there didn't seem to be one. Wordlessly, she pulled on the jacket while Leoben put a little sweater on Kacey.

'Outside' seemed different when it wasn't a forbidden thing. The snow seemed more beautiful, more picturesque. The remains of the city didn't seem as ominous. Kacey's giggles filled the air as she flopped down into the snow and started rolling around.

"I don't think the 'snowman' look works for you, missy," Leoben told her, grabbing her hands and pulling her up to stand on her feet. He was surprised to feel a cold, wet impact on his back a moment later. Kara smirked at the look on his face. "Did Mommy just hit me with a snowball?" he asked Kacey. She nodded, not even trying to hide her amusement. He bent down, collecting some ammunition of his own, and threw it with perfect accuracy. Kara was just barely able to get her hands up fast enough to keep from getting hit directly in the chest.

"Oh, it's on now," she shot back, scooping up some more of the snow. An all-out snowball war began with a giggly Kacey trying to keep up as best as her little legs would allow. Pretty soon, all three of them were thoroughly wet and cold.

* * *

Back inside the apartment, Leoben offered to make hot drinks while Kara and Kacey got cleaned up and warm. Dressed in new clothes, the girls curled up together on the couch. "Here," Leoben told Kara as he handed her a steaming mug.

"Thank you," she replied. "For the drink and…for the afternoon."

He smiled. "You're welcome." The most basic of freedoms had been turned into privileges that she had to be grateful for. It was a necessary part of his plan, but it turned her into something that was less than a person, and he didn't want that. "I have something else for you."

Kara smiled. "Two surprises in one day?"

Leoben brought over a wooden box that had been by the stairs. Upon lifting the lid, she discovered tubes of paint and several brushes. "What is this for?"

"I wanted you to have something that made you happy, something that was just yours."

"Um…did you get canvases, too?"

He smiled. "Those were a little harder to come by. But I believe you have some experience with walls, and we've got plenty of those." Kara looked around the large and open room, a small smile crossing her face.

"Yeah, I guess that's true."

"So…do you like it?"

"I do. Thanks…again."

"You're welcome, again. I love you, Kara. This is your home. I want you to see it that way, too." She just nodded, not trusting herself enough to speak. It wasn't home, not yet, but there was now the small possibility that maybe someday it would be.

* * *

TBC...

Feedback is much appreciated. 8-)


	4. Chapter 3

One night, a couple weeks later, Leoben didn't come home. It had been a supply drop day, so Kara was sure that he was just busy with the other model, but it was still unnerving.

"I'm hungry," Kacey declared as she climbed onto her mother's bed.

"Okay, let's go see if there's anything for breakfast."

There was just enough oatmeal left for one serving. Kara still hadn't learned to cook, but oatmeal was easy enough that she could manage. After getting Kacey settled down at the kitchen table with her bowl and a spoon, Kara watched out the window as snow gently fell on New Caprica City.

"We go outside?" Kacey asked.

"Maybe when your Dad gets back."

"Where's Daddy?"

"I'm not sure."

Kacey seemed to accept that and went back to her breakfast. Kara, however, was still on edge. If something had happened to Leoben, they were stuck there all by themselves without food or anything. Surely someone would come and tell her if that was the case, right? But who knew what would happen to them then? Maybe she'd end up back on a farm on the Colonies while Kacey got treated like a little lab rat. That was unacceptable; Leoben couldn't just leave them. They were completely dependent, not just for things like food and clothes, but their very lives were in his hands.

"I'll be right back," Kara told Kacey before heading up the stairs. The front door was unlocked, and she stepped out into the hall. The gate easily swung open when she pushed on the bars – nothing was keeping them in that apartment.

"Mommy?" she heard Kacey call and so stepped back inside. "I finished. We go play outside?"

There was nothing to stop her from getting her daughter, getting coats, and going out to enjoy the morning in the snow. Who would know? And the fact that the door was open meant Leoben wasn't trying to stop her – but he hadn't given permission, either. She'd been very good for the past month and things had been pretty nice. She didn't want to ruin that.

Kara shut the gate, shut the door, and went back downstairs. "We'll go when your dad comes back, okay, Kace? He's going to come back, I promise." It was hard to determine if she was trying to convince her daughter or convince herself.

Kara had no way of knowing that Leoben was actually in a room just down the hall, waiting to see what he'd just seen. It was one thing for him to take her freedoms away from her; it was another entirely for her to give them away willingly. Finally – finally! – he'd done it. Kara was truly his.

* * *

They did spend the afternoon outside making snowpeople once Leoben returned. Kacey completely wore herself out and wound up going to bed an hour earlier than normal. Leoben and Kara quietly cleaned up dinner together.

"Today was nice," she told him as he washed the dishes and she put them away.

"Yes, it was…I'm proud of you, Kara."

"For what?"

"You've come a long way since I first met you. You're becoming everything I knew you would be. A kind and caring mother, for one thing, with a great deal to offer."

Kara looked away. She knew that she'd come a long way with respect to Kacey. First and foremost, she was her daughter, and that meant that nothing else really mattered. Kacey was a person; it didn't matter to her how the little girl had come to be or why.

"I do love her," she told Leoben. "I never thought that I would know what that was like, but now that I do…it's incredible."

"I want you to be happy, Kara. I want our family to mean as much to you as it does to me."

"She means a lot to me," she replied. "And…despite everything else, you gave her to me. Gave me the chance to become someone I never believed I could be…Thank you for that." It was a truly freeing thing to realize that she'd escaped the shackles she imagined her childhood had forced onto her. She hadn't carried on her mother's legacy. It was unfortunate, however, that she couldn't see how the cycle of abuse was still being continued against her. It was in a new form, with a new perpetrator, but it was being continued just the same.

Leoben turned off the water and leaned against the sink, just watching her for a long moment. "Are you ready to say it yet?" he finally asked, confident he knew what the answer would be.

Kara took a deep breath, knowing what he wanted. She'd said the words he desired a few other times in her life without meaning them, to men that had done far less for her than he had. As long as she had Kacey – as long as she had the opportunity to be the mother she never had – surely it was worth it.

"I…I love you," she whispered, eyes focused on the floor. She couldn't love him, Kara promised herself, because she barely knew what love was. But hearing what he wanted would make him happy, and if he was happy, then things would be okay in their little world of make-believe.

Leoben raised a hand to her face, gently tipping her chin up so he could look her in the eyes. He knew how big of a thing she'd just done. Slowly, he leaned forward and kissed her, happy to see that she didn't pull back. "It's been a long day," he quietly said. "Let's go to bed." Kara didn't argue. There wouldn't have been a point.

* * *

TBC... 


	5. Chapter 4

THREE YEARS LATER

It was dark and warm. Kara was buried in her bed, completely covered by thick blankets. Her body ached all over and she wanted to succumb to the exhaustion that filled her, but sleep wouldn't come. She desperately wished the darkness would wrap her up in an icy grip and let her just slip away…

Kara opened her eyes as she felt the mattress shift. Kacey was trying to carefully climb up to lay beside her – as carefully as a four-and-a-half-year-old can be, anyway. "Hi, sweetheart."

"Hi, Mommy." The little girl wriggled underneath the blankets until she was lying beside her mother, both of them sharing a pillow with their foreheads almost touching. "No baby brother?" Kacey hesitantly asked.

Kara closed her eyes, swallowing hard. Just yesterday, Kacey's little brother had been safe inside of her body. They'd sat together by the window and talked about the things that would be changing in their lives. Kacey had almost gotten a sibling a year earlier, but Kara had miscarried five months in. This time, things were supposed to be different – and they had been, but not in the way that she had wanted. It had taken all night and half the day, but when Kara held her son in her arms for the first time it had seemed worth it. She'd never imagined that he would stop breathing after just twelve minutes.

"No," she was finally able to say, trying to forget the memory of the pale and motionless little body. "No baby brother." She didn't even know what Leoben had done with him; she'd just closed her eyes and tried to make the rest of the world go away.

Kacey moved forward slightly, kissing her mother on the nose. "Sorry," she whispered. "I'm still here, though, 'kay? I won't leave you."

Kara blinked back tears. "Thank you, honey."

"You…you can't leave me, too," Kacey quietly said, her eyes downcast.

"What do you mean?"

"I was scared you were going to go away, too. There was blood and…I was scared."

Kara shook her head, having had no idea that her daughter had seen her earlier. "I won't leave you," she promised. "You're my everything, Kace…you're all that I've got left. I'm not going anywhere, okay, honey?"

Kacey snuggled up close, wrapping her little arms around her. "I love you, Mommy…I don't really need a brother or sister; you and Daddy are enough family. Kay?"

Kara took a shuddery breath, willing herself not to break down in front of the little girl. She wasn't even sure how she'd gotten to where she was; keeping Kacey safe depended solely upon making sure Leoben was happy, and that had required her to do a lot of things she never would have otherwise considered doing.

"Okay," she whispered. Kacey smiled.

* * *

At the moment, Leoben was utterly frustrated with the fragileness of human bodies. Everything about Cylons was engineered for optimization of certain traits, mind and body. They had easily overcome the problem of death with the idea of uploading their consciousness. Humans, on the other hand, could break far too easily, and too often without explanation. His son should have still been alive, the perfect compliment to a little girl currently growing and thriving on Caprica. But instead, the baby was at the bottom of a hole his father had dug outside of the mostly abandoned Cylon complex on New Caprica.

Leoben dropped a shovel-full of dirt into the hole, the sound of it hitting bottom forever burned into his memory. Another shovel-full landed on top of the last, then another, then another…

A Model Eight watched from her spot by the complex' main door. She'd made many trips to New Caprica in the past three years since the Colonials' exodus. Many of the Cylons hadn't understood why Leoben would choose to stay there alone with only a human for company, no matter how special she was. They checked in with him during every supply drop to make sure things were still all right. This Eight had a personal interest in what was going on the planet; she'd actually lived with and flown with and been friends with Kara Thrace. This trip was supposed to have been special; instead it was heartbreaking. After another moment of silence, she stepped forward to join Leoben at the gravesite.

"Was he stillborn?" Boomer quietly asked.

Leoben shook his head. "He lived his whole life in twelve minutes."

"Simon didn't know what went wrong?"

"No. He was very small and just…" his voice trailed off, but nothing else needed to be said.

"The others have been talking. They think its time for you to come home."

"This is my home now. My home is with my family."

"Your family is a farce. You're not going to create an entire new race by yourself. Look around you; you can't even – " She stopped herself before she finished the sentence; he didn't need the baby's death thrown in his face. "This isn't good for any of you, being out here by yourselves. If she's truly going to learn to accept this life then she has to learn to live among us, and you're going to have to learn that most things that are worth it require patience…Come home to Caprica."

"Kara will need time to recover."

Boomer nodded. "Take the time, then. I'll make the arrangements."

* * *

It was dark outside when Kara woke up. Kacey was still cuddled in her arms, her little face adorable as she snuggled up to her mother's side. As she pulled the blanket back, Kara realized that Leoben was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, watching her. She just stared back for a long moment, neither of them saying anything.

"How are you feeling?" he finally asked.

_Like hell_, she wanted to snap at him. _Like my heart got ripped out and stepped on…Like I was pregnant for eight months, in labor for fourteen hours, and have absolutely nothing to show for it…Like the child in my arms is the only thing keeping me afloat, keeping me from drowning._

But she didn't say any of that. It would have taken too much effort. "I'll live," was all that she eventually responded with. He nodded.

"I was thinking…I was thinking it's time to go home."

"Home?"

"Caprica. It's where Kacey was born, where you called home when you were on leave. It will be our home…our family's home." The word 'family' made Kara flinch slightly. He pretended not to notice. "Once you're feeling better, once you get your strength back up, we can go home to Caprica."

Kara slowly nodded, mainly because she had no choice. She'd learned that long ago. "Home, to Caprica," she echoed. "Right."

Leoben got up, coming over to kiss her forehead. "Do you want dinner?" he asked. "I can fix anything you'd like."

"Maybe just some soup."

He nodded. "Coming right up."

Once he was gone, Kara pulled the blanket back over her and Kacey, letting darkness envelop them once more. She prayed to the Gods – no matter what the Cylons did to her, the word would always remain plural – that she would be given the strength to keep going. Kacey needed her.

* * *

TBC... 


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. For those who are wondering how this is ever going to be a Kara/Lee fic…have patience. 8-) I promise it'll happen. And someone asked who the "little girl living on Caprica" was in the last part; I just figured that Hera would be living back on the Colonies as the Cylons try to make the new generation of hybrids. Sorry for the confusion.  
**

* * *

Three weeks later, they were leaving the planet. A couple inches of snow covered the dilapidated and eerie city. Kara held Kacey's hand as they walked to the landing strip where Boomer and a Heavy Raider waited. They'd packed up a few things, mainly just Kacey's toys and some clothes. Kara had one of her dead son's little sleepers folded up and tucked into the pocket of her coat. She was leaving him behind on New Caprica, and while part of her would have loved to pretend that he'd never existed – maybe it would hurt less that way – she wouldn't and couldn't actually forget him. 

"Up we go," Leoben told Kacey with a smile, lifting her up from the ground and setting her inside the ship. Boomer took the child's hand, leading her over to a row of jump seats where she could lie down. It was almost Kacey's naptime; their hope was that she would sleep for most of the several-jump-long trip back to Caprica.

Leoben offered Kara a smile as he led her into the ship as well. She'd learned in the past few weeks exactly how much of a sham their little family was. He said he loved her, yes, but she had a feeling that there were a few lines of code missing in that particular piece of software. Not that Kara was a great expert on healthy loving relationships, but still…even when he was saying those three little words, he always seemed detached. Love couldn't work when it was under duress.

"Stay with Kacey," he quietly told her before moving up to the front of the ship with Boomer. Kara didn't mind; getting her daughter to sleep was a good distraction from what was about to happen to her. She'd always held out hope somewhere in the back of her mind that maybe, just maybe, the fleet would send a mission to New Caprica to look for anyone that might have been left behind. But now she was leaving the planet, and she would no longer have any hope of being found. She was lost.

The gentle hum of the engines easily put Kacey to sleep, and Kara was able to focus on the view out the window as the ship lifted off and slipped through the atmosphere. The mysterious mist still hung around the planet, ensuring that every day on the surface would be a cloudy one. As the Raider continued away from the planet, moving outside of the dense cloud and into the open void of space, Kara realized she was holding her breath. For the first time in four years, she was actually out in space. She'd almost forgotten how beautiful the stars were.

"Setting coordinates for the first jump," Boomer told Leoben as they both worked the ship's controls. Kara gently slipped out from underneath Kacey, quietly moving forward to get a better view. It had been so long since she'd flown; the FTL jump was especially nauseating. Once her vision had cleared and her equilibrium had returned, she watched while the two bio-Cylons reset the navigation system.

"Jump calculation complete," Leoben said as he finished running the numbers.

"Are our passengers okay?" Boomer asked. He turned around to look.

Before Kara knew what was happening, there was a gun in Boomer's hand, and suddenly its barrel was being pressed against Leoben's temple. Even his reflexes weren't a match for the other Cylon's; he didn't see the betrayal coming, didn't have any time to react before the trigger was squeezed. Kara stared in shock as his lifeless body sagged in the chair. Boomer put down her gun.

"It's me, Kara," she felt obligated to say. "It's Boomer."

Her gaze moved from Leoben's body, up to the other Cylon, and back again. "W-what just happened?"

"I had to do it. I couldn't let him take you to Caprica; I know what's waiting for you there."

"He's going to come back."

"No, he won't. We're too far out from a resurrection ship. He's gone, Kara. For good."

She shook her head slightly, disbelieving. "Why should I believe you?"

"Because I'm saving your life, okay? I told you; I couldn't let him go through with taking you back to the Colonies. I'm going to help you, Kara. I'm going to give you the coordinates to get back to the fleet, and give you a Colonial transponder code so they won't shoot you down. But once I do, you have to do something for me."

Kara raised an eyebrow. "And that would be?"

Boomer picked up the gun again, cocking it and then turning it around so that the business end was pointed at herself as she gave it to Kara. "Kill me. Out here, so I won't upload. I'm not going back."

Kara slowly took the weapon. "Why are you doing this?"

She smiled slightly at the woman she'd been friends with once upon a time. "I tried to end all of this. New Caprica wasn't supposed to go down the way it did. I really thought that we could all live together if everyone really tried…pretty stupid. It never would have worked, and I can't be a part of what the others are doing to humanity anymore. I just can't sit and watch, and there's nothing else I can do to change it. This is the only way."

Kara's mind was racing. A couple years ago, if someone had put a gun in her hand and a Cylon in front of her and said to shoot, there wouldn't have been any hesitation. For most models, that still wouldn't be a problem for her, but this was Boomer. This was the exact person that she'd played cards with and flown with before the holocaust. This was the person that had just liberated her. "Come back to Galactica with us."

Boomer shook her head. "We both know that's not going to work. I'm happy that my sister is okay there, but you know that won't happen for me…Way back when, Kara, you used to be the strongest woman I knew, and I envied that so much. We stole that from you." She glanced down at Leoben's body. "HE stole that from you in the process of trying to make you fulfill the destiny he believes you will have. It's gone on too long already, and now it has to stop."

"You don't believe in it?" Kara couldn't help but ask.

Boomer smiled. "Do you love Kacey?"

"Of course."

"You're her mother? And not in any way that a blood test would prove, but in your heart?"

"Yes."

"Four years ago, would you have believed that to be possible?"

Kara froze. "No."

"Then I think we've done enough. The rest of your path must be up to you." She turned back to the controls, programming the coordinates. "I set a timer. Go home, Kara. It's long overdue."

She straightened, turning back to face her friend and raising the gun to point to her forehead. Kara still hesitated. "I can't…" she tried to protest.

Boomer smirked. "Well, I've already proven that I can't do it properly, so it's gotta be you. Close your eyes, if it makes you feel any better, and just pull the – "

The gun went off.

* * *

TBC... 


	7. Chapter 6

Kara moved both of the bodies and found a blanket to cover them with so Kacey wouldn't have to see. The little girl had amazingly slept through everything, only stirring briefly at each of the gunshots. Kara had no idea how any child of hers could be so easy-going.

Boomer had programmed the ship to take them back to where the fleet currently was supposed to be, and set a timer in case Kara couldn't work up the courage to execute the jump herself. If she didn't leave soon, the fleet might jump away and then she'd never find them. But for some reason, Kara couldn't make herself hit the button early. Her brain felt like it was on overload.

She expected that at any moment Leoben would suddenly shrug off the cover she'd put over him, tell her that her latest escape attempt had failed, and take her back to New Caprica. It was inconceivable after all this time that she might actually be free. Surely it was a trick – a test – and she had to figure out how to pass.

"Mommy?" a little voice asked, and she realized that not only had Kacey awakened, but she'd gotten up and made her way over to Kara's seat without her even noticing. "Mommy, where are we?"

Kara picked her up, pulling the little girl onto her lap. "We're out in space, baby. This…this used to be my favorite place in the universe."

"Where's Daddy?" the child inquired.

A small smile crossed Kara's face. "It's just you and me now, Kace."

She could hear the systems within the ship begin to activate as it prepared for the jump. Part of her wanted to reach over to the console and stop it. She had to pass the test. Maybe it had all been lies and Boomer and Leoben were watching right now to see where her loyalties laid. Maybe they would actually end up in the middle of a sun if she allowed the ship to go to the coordinates Boomer had set. She almost reached out and canceled the jump, but decided that perhaps the center of a sun would be an okay option. At least then things would be over for good.

"Where are we going?" Kacey asked, also hearing the ship spin up. Kara didn't get a chance to answer before reality warped and the ship moved faster than light to its destination. She sat, frozen, and stared at the sight before her. The Colonial Fleet.

"Home," was her whispered reply.

* * *

Helo was on shift in CIC when Dradis registered an unknown contact. Confusingly, the ship's signal was definitely Cylon, but it was broadcasting a Colonial identification code. Attempts to contact the ship went unanswered. 

"Sitrep," Adama called as he walked into the room. "As you were," he added for anyone that had instantly come to attention.

"Unknown bogey," Helo told his CO, pointing it out on the screen. "System has confirmed it is a Cylon Heavy Raider, but it's got a Colonial transponder. CAP is on their way to intercept. So far it looks like its just dead in space."

"Something got it here," Adama replied. "Tell the rest of the fleet to spin up their FTLs. If this is the scout for a Basestar, we need to be ready to jump on a moment's notice."

Lee was out on CAP with a relatively new Viper pilot, plus Racetrack and Sharon in a Raptor. All three ships carefully approached the menacing-looking Raider that indeed seemed to be completely dead. They'd had little contact with the Cylons over the past several months; if this was a trick, it was looking like a good one.

"Galactica, Apollo; we still have no activity from the Raider. Request instructions." There was a long pause without an answer. "Hey, Athena," he called to Sharon. "How close can you guys get? We'll cover you."

"Copy that, Apollo." She skillfully navigated her Raptor until it was frighteningly close to the Raider. Both she and Racetrack could look into the cockpit. The window on the Raider was small, but Sharon thought that she saw something… "Apollo, Athena; I think there's someone inside."

Lee frowned. "You mean a skinjob?"

It was a callous term, but Sharon had gotten used to it a long time ago. If it was said in front of her, it meant that people had actually momentarily forgotten that she WAS a 'skinjob,' and she could live with that. "No," she clarified. "I mean a person. I don't see any centurions and I'm pretty sure that's not a bio-Cylon." Racetrack was at Sharon's shoulder, also staring through their forward canopy. She nodded to her pilot; Sharon's observation seemed correct.

"Raptor 265, Galactica; can you hook up for a tow?" came over the wireless.

Racetrack smiled. "Just when I thought this was going to be a boring day…"

"Roger, Galactica," Sharon replied. "Will connect tow lines."

* * *

There still hadn't been a peep out of the Heavy Raider by the time that it had been dragged back to Galactica's landing pod, lowered onto the lift to the hanger, and secured inside the ship. Just about every marine onboard the battlestar converged on the hanger bay, guns cocked and ready, while Lee and Sharon carefully moved forward to open the hatch. The first thing they noticed was the draped bodies in the back of the craft. Lifting up the edge of the blanket, Sharon fought the urge to be sick when she saw a copy of herself with a hole in her forehead. 

Lee realized that someone was in the seat in the cockpit, although they had their back turned. Still keeping a firm grip on his sidearm, he moved forward. "Hello?" he quietly called out, but was met with silence. Nothing prepared him for what he saw when he reached the pilot's seat and turned it around – a very not-dead Kara Thrace with a small child in her arms. "Holy frak," he couldn't help but whisper. "Kara?"

She didn't move. This couldn't really have been Galactica because there was no way that she'd actually escaped. There was no way that Lee Adama was really standing in front of her. And yet…his hand felt damn real when it landed on her shoulder.

"Kara, look at me," he told her, and his breath caught when her hazel eyes lifted to meet his blue ones. Fear came off of her in waves – this wasn't the woman he used to know.

Kacey got their attention as she buried herself against Kara with a whimper, frightened by the new face. Lee quickly realized he still had his gun and holstered it. "Stand down," he called out of the ship to the marines. The last thing they needed was for some little snot to get trigger-happy.

Sharon joined Lee at Kara's side, also awed by the sight of the blonde pilot that they'd believed dead for so long. Something about seeing Sharon seemed to connect better than seeing Lee. "Is it over?" Kara asked the bio-Cylon.

Sharon had no idea what she was referring to, but knew better than to say that out loud. "Yeah, Kara," she gently told her. "It's over. You're home."

* * *

TBC... 


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: The explanation in "Unfinished Business" for the latest Kara/Lee rift seemed a little too cruel in my opinion, so I redid what was going on with them. Details will come later.  
**

* * *

Sharon had managed to get Kara up and out of the ship, and there had been a lot of shocked faces out in the hanger when they emerged from the Raider. Lee made sure that everyone stayed back; he knew that if Kara wasn't already past her breaking point, she was pretty damn close. She adamantly did not want to see Cottle, and Lee wasn't up for fighting with her at the moment. He had a better idea on where to go. 

Adama had been on his way out of the CIC to go see for himself what was happening on the hangar deck when a call came in that Lee wanted to speak with him in his quarters. His son was being annoyingly unforthcoming and Adama probably would have laid into him as soon as he walked in the door if he hadn't noticed the woman that was with him.

Her hair was longer then he'd ever seen it, her eyes were missing their normal spark, and she looked exhausted, but Kara Thrace was standing in front of him, alive. A lot of people had been lost on New Caprica, but none of the assumed deaths had hit him like hers. He'd wondered for months if they could have done something differently. Now he wished he'd done a little more.

Adama stepped forward, paralysis broken, reaching for her. He noticed when she stiffened and therefore stopped, his heart aching for her. _What did they do to her?_ the Old Man wondered to himself. "Do you know where you are?" he quietly asked. Kara nodded. "Then you know you're safe here?" Another nod, though less certain then the first.

The Admiral's eyes finally shifted, focusing on the little person in Kara's arms. Kacey stared back. "Who is this?" he quietly asked.

Kara held the child a little closer. "My daughter," were the first words Adama had heard her speak in over three years. They certainly weren't what he was expecting. "This is Kacey."

He had a wonderful way of keeping his distance and yet getting just close enough to be a comfort. "Are you hungry?" Adama asked, smiling gently at the little girl. She looked up at Kara for confirmation that it was okay to answer before nodding. "Let's see if we can find you some food, then."

Lee just watched, almost feeling forgotten, as his father led them over to his couch. He wanted to stay – wanted to find out what the frak had happened to her – but at the same time he felt like he was intruding. He and Kara hadn't parted on the best of terms; for all he knew, his presence would only make things worse. After watching for a few more moments, he silently slipped out the hatch.

* * *

Adama had a petty officer bring up a couple trays from the mess. Kara didn't let go of Kacey, not even for a second, as they both ate. He was amazed to see her gently taking care of the little girl, never having imagined that Kara would end up as someone's mother. Truth be told, he was fully aware of the life expectancy for pilots on his ship; the numbers had never been favorable for Kara to be having a family, if she'd ever managed to get a guy to keep up with her. And yet…here she was. He had some questions – the math didn't work out properly, no matter which way he tried to do it – but that could wait until later. 

They were both exhausted and fell asleep together on the couch. Adama would have gladly let them stay with him as long as Kara wanted – perhaps he could somehow make up for what they'd been through – but knew that it wasn't proper. She wasn't really his family, no matter what his heart said. While they slept, Adama made arrangements for them to get private quarters.

He was at his desk, going over paperwork, when he heard Kara begin to mumble agitatedly in her sleep. As carefully as he possibly could, he moved Kacey out of her arms and to another chair so that she wouldn't disturb the little girl, and then gently shook Kara's shoulder.

"Kara, wake up. Everything's okay." She startled awake, looking around as though she couldn't figure out where she was or how she'd gotten there. Once that had been sorted out in her brain, she instantly started looking around for Kacey. "She's fine," Adama assured her. "You're both safe now."

He could see her start to crumble. "Do you promise?" Kara asked, her voice small and breaking. Looking into her eyes, he suddenly wondered what she was really more afraid of – going back to New Caprica, or how to start living again if she wasn't.

"You're not going anywhere," he assured her, wrapping his fingers around hers. "You're home, Kara." She slowly nodded, her glance moving away from him to her sleeping daughter.

"I promised myself in the beginning that I would get her away from everything…Haven't believed in a long time that I'd actually make good on it…She was supposed to show me what mattered in life. She kept me alive, so I guess that idea worked." Kara paused, unsure what the reaction would be to her next statement. "She's not…she's not human – not totally – but she's mine, and that's all that matters."

If that was true, then the little child in his chair was capable of bringing final destruction to them all, or of being no more extraordinary than any other human being. There was no way to tell for sure. Perhaps Adama should have been afraid of her, but he couldn't find that emotion, not with his hand still holding Kara's.

"She's beautiful," he told her.

A small smile found its way to her face. "Yeah. She is."

* * *

Once Kacey woke up, Adama walked her and Kara down the hall to the quarters he'd requisitioned for them. The room was small, and only had one bed, but it was just for them and there was a private bathroom, too. 

"I…I kept some of your old things," he told Kara, handing her a small box that he'd brought with him. "Clothes went back to the quartermaster, but everything else is in there. I'll see about getting some off-duty tanks and sweats to you."

"Thank you," she quietly said.

Adama nodded. "Let me know if you need anything, Kara. It…I can't even tell you how good it is to have you back."

After the hatch had shut behind him, Kara sat down on the edge of the bed to look through the box. Kacey took a seat beside her, little fingers instantly exploring the contents. "What's this?" she asked her mother, holding up a chain.

"These were my dog tags. I used to wear these when I would fly." That didn't impress the little girl at all; she had no appreciation for her mother's former career as a pilot.

There were a couple photos, Zak's ring, and a few other little mementos. Her pips and wings probably should have gone to some other pilot, but it meant a lot to her that Adama had kept them with the little package that told the story of what her life used to be. Kara was just settling the lid back on the box when a knock sounded. She put Kacey down and went to open the hatch.

Kara truly wasn't expecting to see the person that was waiting on the other side, and from the look on his face, he hadn't been prepared, either.

"Gods," Samuel Anders whispered as he took in the sight of his not-so-dead wife.

* * *

TBC... 


	9. Chapter 8

Kara swallowed hard, involuntarily taking a step back from her husband's intense gaze. "Hi, Sam," she quietly said.

"I-I got a message that you had been found, but I don't think I believed it until just now…Are you okay?" She just stared at him. "Okay, that was probably a stupid question, but I mean…"

"I'm alive," Kara told him. "At least, I think I am…Some days, I wasn't sure if that was the good news or the bad news, though."

"Did they hurt you? Where were you?"

"On New Caprica."

"The whole time?" he asked, a bit incredulous. She just nodded. Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I looked for you, Kara. You've got to know that. I…I tried so hard, and I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you." She wasn't sure what to say to that. "Gods, Kara, if I'd had any idea that you were still alive…"

"Mommy?" Kacey's little voice called as she walked over. Upon seeing the tall stranger in the door, she attached herself to Kara's leg. "Who's that?" she asked.

"This…well, that's a loaded question," Kara quietly told the little girl. It had been a long, long time since she had thought of Sam as her husband – and considering the fact that his arm no longer sported a tattoo of a winged ring that matched her own, she doubted that they still were legally married. Kara didn't blame him for not being able to find her, not really, but…she'd had another life and slept in someone else's bed for the past three years. Her old life seemed like a fading dream at this point.

Sam was simply staring at Kacey. "W-was she left behind, too?" he finally managed to choke out.

"She's my daughter."

He shook his head. "She can't be."

"Yeah, she can…She's from Caprica. From the farm."

Sam swallowed hard. "She's a Cylon? Is that what they did with New Caprica, started over the science projects they'd left behind on the Colonies?"

"No. There was no one else there. It was just me and Kacey a-and Leoben."

There was something about the way she stumbled on the words that caught his attention. "What exactly do you mean by 'just'?"

"Sam, you don't understand."

"No, that's just it – I do."

* * *

Lee had stopped in to talk to his father and heard that Kara now had her own quarters. He was torn between the urge to go talk to her and to let her have some time to herself. No one honestly knew what she'd been through, so he wasn't sure what impact a visit would have, but he felt like he had to try. For the past two years, he'd carried around the weight of knowing that Kara had died with anger between them. He had to take the opportunity that he'd been given to fix that. 

As he walked down the corridor from his father's office, he could hear a voice shouting. He didn't recognize who it was until he could see who was speaking. "I do understand," Sam was saying. "I saw people do some really…some things I'd rather forget, on both Caprica and New Caprica, but…Do you remember when told me that you wanted me to frakking kill you before you could end up in a farm again? Do you remember that?!"

Lee didn't like the fact that the other man was starting to get up in Kara's face. He knew that Sam had to be frustrated at the moment, both with his role in past events and the fact that he had another wife waiting for him back on one of the liners, however there was no reason to take that out on Kara. Lee was reasonably sure Sam wouldn't do anything stupid, but he wasn't going to take chances.

"Back off," he said, stepping forward and putting himself between the couple.

Sam took a step or two back, but otherwise ignored him. "Tell me I'm wrong, Kara. Please, for the love of the Gods, tell me I'm wrong." But she couldn't, and that only seemed to make him angrier. Kara just stared at the floor, surprisingly quiet, as he continued. She'd been conditioned for years to just look at the floor and keep her mouth shut when all she really wanted to do was put a knife in someone.

"I actually was worried about you all those months," Sam shot. "I guess that was a waste of time…Never thought I'd see the day when someone like you would lie back and spread 'em for one of those bastards."

In Lee's mind, that was the last straw. If Kara wasn't going to take care of herself, he had no problem stepping in. Kacey was starting to freak out, too, whimpering as she clung to Kara's leg. "Move," he told Sam, pointing down the hall.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Start walking and don't stop until you find yourself a shuttle back off of this ship. Move!" he commanded again when Sam was slow to obey. Lee followed him down the hallway for a little while, just to make sure he really was leaving.

His mind was racing as he headed back to check on Kara. There wasn't any excuse for how Sam had acted, but had he spoken the truth? Kacey appeared to be older than the occupation, so she was a whole different issue, but had Kara really had a life – maybe even a home – with a Cylon? The thought was highly disturbing; Kara was supposed to be more of a fighter than that.

Arriving in her doorway, he stopped short at what was awaiting him inside. Kara was on her knees in the middle of the room, her hands covering her face as she cried. Kacey had her arms around her and was also crying. The sight made him feel sick – even more so than Sam's revelation had. Even if the man had been right, Lee had to remind himself that they didn't know what the circumstances on that planet had been like, but the answer was most likely 'hellish' if they'd gotten Kara to break. Lee had firsthand knowledge of what kinds of decisions people could make out of desperation.

He knelt at Kara's side and tried to touch her shoulder, but she pushed him away. "He's gone, Kara," Lee quietly said. "I'm sorry. I…I thought he would have wanted to know that you were here. I never imagined…Gods, I'm sorry."

He stayed there, keeping his distance, until her tears slowed and quiet fell in the room. "Do you want me to go?" Lee asked, his voice breaking and barely more than a whisper. Kara didn't answer; he took that as a yes. "I…I'm sorry. Dad said to go to him if you wanted anything, so…if you can't trust anyone else, trust him, okay?" Still nothing. Lee got up and walked back out of the room, closing the hatch behind him.

* * *

By the following morning, Adama wasn't letting Kara run away from Cottle anymore. He wanted to know that she was okay physically, even if everything else was going to take some time. Kara studied her reflection in the mirror for a long minute after she got dressed in off-duty tanks and pants. It all seemed surreal; she'd never thought that she would be wearing those clothes again. She slipped her dog tags around her neck before turning away to finish getting Kacey ready. 

"Ah, my favorite worst patient," Cottle commented as he saw Kara walk into the Life Station, Kacey in tow. "How difficult are you going to be making my life this morning?"

"That'll be directly proportional to how much of my morning you take up," she fired back.

The doctor chuckled, putting out his cigarette. "It's good to have you back, Thrace, although you didn't actually just hear me say that. Sit on the bed over there; I'll be with you in a moment."

It didn't take very long into the examination for him to figure out Kara's secret. Sitting down on a chair, he fixed her with a look that meant he wasn't going to be taking any crap from her. "How long ago did you deliver?"

"Three weeks," she replied, meeting his gaze with an icy one of her own. Cottle had gotten a few details out of the Admiral; he'd heard who her captor had been.

"Any complications I should know about?"

"Would my baby's death count?"

"Yes…What happened?"

"I don't know."

Cottle raised an eyebrow. "Honestly?"

"He was born, he cried, he stopped, he went blue." The doctor knew he wasn't going to get anywhere else; she had put up walls that were thicker than Galactica's hull plating.

"I want to do blood work on both of you. Gods only know what kind of shape you're in." Kara offered her arm.

"Whatever gets us out of here faster."

* * *

Once they had left, one of the med techs came to get the blood samples to test. "I'll do them myself," he told her. "One's a special patient." She simply nodded and went back to work. 

They had very limited information about Cylon hybrids from when Hera had still been aboard the ship. Cottle hoped that Kacey would provide an opportunity to improve their understanding. He had no idea that he'd be getting more than he'd bargained for.

* * *

TBC... 

**A/N: I think the Sam in the actual show is a saint for putting up with as much as he has without going crazy. I decided I wanted to make him a little more human in my universe. He's not really trying to be a jerk, just...one of those days that you instantly regret.**


	10. Chapter 9

Sitting at his desk two afternoons later, Adama fixed his chief medical officer with a look that was pretty damn close to a glare. "What did you just say?" he asked the man.

"I ran the tests three times, Admiral; that girl's no more a Cylon than you or I."

Adama sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Is it possible that because she's a hybrid – "

"She's not a hybrid, she's not a Cylon. She's a perfectly normal, perfectly HUMAN little girl. There's nothing in any of her blood work that would suggest anything else. Whoever said otherwise had a frakking good joke going."

The Admiral considered that, disbelieving that anyone could be that cruel. "Did you run a DNA test on her?"

Cottle nodded, knowing where he was going with that. "She's not Kara Thrace's child."

That was what Adama had been afraid of. "Have you talked to her yet?"

"Saw her yesterday. Told her I hadn't found any viruses she needed to be worrying about."

"That was all?"

"I didn't have the rest of the results back yet."

Adama nodded. "Fine. I'll take care of it, then."

* * *

That evening, Adama invited Kara and Kacey over to his quarters for dinner. He'd heard from other members of the crew that other than the trip to the Life Station, they hadn't left their quarters since arriving on the ship. The Admiral knew that they had a long way to go before finding normalcy, and that's why it killed him to have to tell Kara the truth. He didn't want to have to take away the one thing keeping her going, but at the same time, it would be better than getting surprised with the information somewhere down the road.

Kara knocked on the hatch before entering, holding Kacey's hand. "Evening, Sir."

He offered a smile. "Come on in, shut the hatch. I think I've got a couple plates over here with your names on them." They sat down together around the low table and uncovered the trays that had been brought up from the mess.

Conversation was light throughout the meal, other than questions from Kacey. "What are those?" she asked the Admiral at one point, a finger aimed at the pips on his collar.

"Those tell people what my rank is."

"What's your rank?"

"He's an Admiral, Kace," Kara told her.

"Mommy was a Captain," Kacey continued. "Is an Admiral important?"

Adama couldn't hide a smile. "On some days," he replied. Kacey returned to Kara's side, and he saw her gently ruffle the little girl's hair. They were all each other had left at this point; who was he to take that away?

Once they were finished eating, Kacey slipped away to go explore the office; Adama was reasonably sure there wasn't anything lying about that she could get herself into trouble with. "Why do I get the feeling this wasn't just a simple dinner invitation?" Kara quietly asked him.

Adama sighed. "Because it wasn't…I needed to talk to you."

"And I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"No…I talked to Cottle. He said that he'd run blood work on both of you."

Kara looked up at that. "The old bastard told me we were fine."

"You are. Medically, there's nothing wrong. You're both healthy…and both human."

She froze. "What?"

"She's human, Kara. She's not a Cylon. She's not a hybrid."

"He frakking told me…he said she was from the farm; he told me – "

"He lied."

Kara's gaze shifted, looking across the room to where Kacey had found a star chart to hold her interest. "She's not mine?" she quietly asked.

"Not biologically, no." Given the givens, he wasn't sure what her reaction to that would be.

"Do…do you know where she came from?"

"No. I was going to get someone to go through the list of people assumed dead during the exodus, see if anyone listed her."

"And if they did?"

"If they did, then they deserve to know that she's still alive."

Kara looked back at him, eyes flashing. "They're not taking her away from me."

"I didn't say that…But I know from experience what it's like to think you've lost a child to that Gods-forsaken planet." He saw the tears start to well up in her eyes. "I won't put anyone else through that unnecessarily…Let's just see what we find and go from there, all right?" Kara slowly nodded.

"Kacey?" she called to the little girl. "Come, on, honey. We're going home." She put down the star chart and went to take her mother's outstretched hand.

"Bye," the little girl told Adama as they left. He put his face in his hand once the hatch closed. If Leoben wasn't already dead, he would have torn the Cylon limb from limb.

* * *

That night, once Kara and Kacey had both gotten showers and dressed in pajamas, they curled up together on their bed. Kara halfway listened while Kacey told her a story about what it must be like to fly in space. As much as she wanted to, Kara couldn't make herself pay attention; she was gently playing with Kacey's hair, her mind a million light-years away.

It was the same color her own had been when she was that young, and she'd always assumed that Kacey had gotten it from her. Her eyes, too. But now Kara knew the truth. It was someone else's hair, someone else's eyes. She was someone else's child.

Gods, what had Leoben done? Snatched her up from New Caprica City, just like he'd done with Kara? Left her mother to worry and pray that her little girl was okay? Threatened or bribed Kacey into calling him 'Daddy' and Kara 'Mommy'? Had she been scared? Did she even remember? She'd been so frakking little, too little and too innocent to have been caught up in that twisted game.

"Mommy, you're not listening to me," Kacey accused, interrupting Kara's thoughts.

"Sorry, honey…Kace, where did you live before you lived with me?"

The little girl frowned. "I don't know…Didn't I always live with you?"

Kara kissed her forehead. "Yeah, sweetie. Start over; I'll pay attention this time." Kacey adorably pretended to be put out, but started explaining her little story again.

She may have been someone else's blood, but she was Kara's daughter.

* * *

TBC... 


	11. Chapter 10

"Are you serious?" Lee asked his father. They were sitting together in the Admiral's office, and he'd just shared the happenings of the past day with his son.

"Unfortunately. It seems they were playing more than one game with Kara."

Lee sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "For the love of the Gods…And you told her everything?"

"I didn't think I had a choice. I thought it would be better coming from me instead of her accidentally finding out down the road and knowing I never told her the truth."

Lee shook his head. "It shouldn't have been you, Dad…Right now, she needs to have someone to turn to, or we really are going to lose her to whatever's going on in her head."

"Everyone's here for her, son."

"No, that's not what I meant…She's gotta have someone on her side, someone that gives her a safe place so she doesn't have to hide…I'd wanted that to be you, 'cause…well, let's just say I knew it wasn't going to be me."

Adama studied his first-born for a long moment. "I'll take care of her, Lee."

He nodded. "Let me look into whether or not Kacey's got a family, okay? The news can come from me, if it's bad."

Adama slowly nodded. "You sell yourself short, son."

"How's that?"

"You're still taking pretty good care of our girl, too."

* * *

Late that night, Lee was still pouring through the list of nearly two-thousand people that had disappeared on New Caprica, either before or during the exodus. He had no idea if the Cylons had changed Kacey's name or what, so he was writing down any little girl that would have been the right age.

"Lee, come to bed," Dee told him, turning over in their rack to face him in his seat at the bench in the middle of their bunkroom. Their roommates were all on late shift.

"In a little bit," he replied without even looking up at her.

"What are you doing over there?"

"Looking through the records of people who were presumed lost on New Caprica."

She frowned. "For what?"

Lee sighed, finally looking up. "For a toddler named Kacey."

"You mean that kid Kara brought back? I thought she was her daughter, a hybrid?"

"Apparently not." It was an infuriating notion.

"Gods…Why are you the one looking this up at…" she checked the clock, "0037 hours?"

"Because I told my father that I would take care of it…And trust me, I really wish I wasn't doing this at 0037 hours. I wish I could put it off for as long as frakking possible, because I have the distinct impression that Kara is not going to like what I find. But at the same time, I don't want her to be sitting around waiting and wondering about what the truth really is."

Dee contemplated that for a long moment. "Seems like things have changed with you two since before the occupation," she finally said, and he couldn't tell if she was upset about that or not. "Forgive and forget?"

Lee shrugged, turning back to the papers before him. "In the grand scheme of things…all of that doesn't seem quite so important anymore."

* * *

The next morning, when Sharon got back from the weight room, she had a note waiting for her asking her to come up to Kara's quarters. She wasn't on shift until that afternoon, so she grabbed a quick shower, got dressed, and headed up to where the special quarters were located. Kacey opened the hatch when she knocked.

"Hi," the child told her with a little grin.

"Hey, there. I think your mom was expecting me."

"Let her in, Kace," Kara's voice called. She was seated at the desk inside the room. Kacey opened the door wider to let their guest in, and then went back to playing with her toys on the floor.

"How are you doing?" Sharon asked.

Kara hesitated a long moment before speaking. "Did you know?" she asked. 

"Know what?"

"Can you just…tell, just from looking at her, if she's a hybrid?"

Sharon looked over to Kacey, and when she turned back, her eyes were wide. "She's not?" Kara's silence was her answer. "Kara, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm not linked anymore."

She nodded slowly. "He told me…he worked so damn hard to convince me that she was mine, that she had a special purpose…It was all a lie."

Sharon sighed. "By 'he,' you mean Leoben?"

"Yes…I don't know if you know, but if you do…you have to tell me why he did all of this."

"Kara…I haven't been connected to the others in years. I don't…I don't know what their purpose was, only a vague idea of your importance to them."

"So it wasn't just him?"

"Probably not. The others would have known if Kacey truly was a hybrid, which means anyone who knew about her had to have known that she wasn't."

That gave Kara something to think about. "Boomer – the other you, the one that was on Galactica before – she's why I got away. She planned the whole thing…and after she killed Leoben, she asked me if I loved Kacey. If I was her mother, and not just in the sense of sharing DNA. She knew the truth, didn't she?"

"Probably."

"Then why did it matter? She told me that the fact that I loved her was enough, that I had gone far enough on whatever road that they frakking think I'm on. Why did any of that that matter if she's not really mine, if she's not really one of them?"

"I don't know, Kara…Maybe it was enough that you thought she was. Maybe Kacey's place in your destiny is what she's taught you, how she's changed you…I know what you're going through, okay? And trust me when I tell you that it's fine to be angry, just make sure it's at the right people. Don't shut out the ones that want to help you; it hurts you just as bad as it hurts them. No matter what happens in the future, hold on to what you've gotten from knowing that little girl, okay? She's given you a lot."

Kara slowly nodded, looking over to where Kacey was playing on the floor. "I never could have imagined any of this would happen."

Sharon smiled slightly. "Yeah…I know how that feels, too."

* * *

TBC... 


	12. Chapter 11

Lee hadn't gone to bed that morning. He'd eventually found what he was looking for, but sleep didn't come easy after that. Listed on the second-to-last page of the missing persons' manifest was one-and-a-half-year-old Kacey Prynne. She'd been kidnapped from New Caprica City approximately two weeks before the exodus. Her mother, Julia Prynne, had survived, and had been relocated to the Pan Global Liner. All it would take was picking up the phone in order for Lee to track her down.

Except that he didn't want to track her down. He wanted to forget he'd ever seen her name, and go tell his father that the search had come up empty. He wanted to be able to do that one thing for Kara, to give her that little piece of comfort. However, just like his father, he couldn't make himself lie. It would all be worse in the end if Kara ever found out.

Cursing under his breath, he picked up the phone in his office and got the comms officer that was currently on duty in CIC to connect him to the Pan Global Liner. "This is Major Adama from the Galactica," he said when the call was answered. "I'm trying to locate a woman that was one of your passengers two years ago."

"Hold on, let me get the manifest," the man on the other end said. "All right, what's the name?"

"Julia Prynne. P-R-Y-N-N-E." There was a pause for a moment, and the faint sound of pages being flipped though.

"Yes, Ms. Prynne is still listed as being onboard the ship…Has she done something?"

"No, no, there's nothing for you to worry about, I just…someone's probably going to be coming over to speak with her in the near future. Thank you for your assistance."

"Not a problem, Major." Lee hung up the phone with a sigh. He really shouldn't have been wishing people dead, but considering how many they'd lost over the years…why couldn't this woman have been one of them?

* * *

That afternoon, he gathered his courage and knocked on the hatch to Kara's quarters. "Hey," she quietly said when she answered.

"Hey…can we talk?"

She eyed him suspiciously. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"My dad told me what's going on…I spent last night looking through the manifest of people who went missing or were killed on New Caprica."

"A-and?"

"I found her on there, Kara. Her name is Kacey Prynne. She's got a mother living on the Pan Global liner." Kara looked like she'd been sucker-punched.

"You-you're serious?"

"Yeah, Kara. I'm sorry."

"Does she know?" she asked, her voice rising. "Does she know about Kacey??"

"No. I wanted you to know first…We-we're going to have to tell her, but – "

"No."

Lee sighed. "Kara…"

"No! She's my daughter, Lee. She's mine!"

Lee took a deep breath. "No, Kara, she's not." He wasn't entirely surprised to feel her fist make contact with his face a moment later. She had to lash out at someone, and Lee had purposely made himself the nearest target. It felt good to have power, to be able to take control of one little aspect of her life for the first time in years.

"Mommy?" Kacey concernedly asked, not having any clue what was going on. Kara stepped back.

"It's okay, Kace," she told the little girl, who turned back to her toys. "Get out," she quietly told Lee. "Get the frak out of here before either of us does something we're going to regret." He obeyed without protest.

Kara leaned against the hatch once she shut it behind him, anger and panic boiling up inside. This couldn't be happening to her; why in the Gods' names was this happening to her? It had been so nice to pretend, once they get back to the ship, that nothing had ever happened. She'd grown up hiding behind a mask of toughness and it was so easy – so comforting – to do that again, to pretend to be a normal human being instead of a broken shell. Everything hurt less that way. But apparently those walls she'd put up wouldn't be enough to save her from unimaginable pain.

"Mommy?" Kacey asked, getting up and walking over. "What's the matter?"

Kara picked her up and sat down with her on their bed. "Sweetie, I know I asked you this before, but…do you remember anything from before you came to live with me? Do you remember living out in the tents in New Caprica City?" Kacey slowly shook her head. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Mommy." Maybe it was all a mistake. Kara desperately wanted to believe that. She didn't have some other name, some other life, some other family. Cottle had made a mistake; Kacey was her daughter and always had been. But clinging to lies wouldn't make anything better – Kara had learned that the hard way once already.

"Kace…Your dad lied to us for a very long time. He said a lot of things that weren't true at all."

"Like what?"

"Like…you weren't born on Caprica. You were probably born on a ship, like this one."

"I don't remember," she whispered.

"I know you don't, sweetie. You were really little…Your dad – Leoben, he wasn't really your dad."

That got her attention. "Yes, he was."

"No, he lied. He lied a lot, and to both of us. He wasn't your father, and…you have another mother, too." There was no way she could bring herself to say that she wasn't Kacey's mother. She knew in her heart that that wasn't true. It didn't seem to be much of a comfort to Kacey, though; she promptly burst into tears.

"Stop it, Mommy!" she wailed, trying to pull away from her.

"Kacey – "

"No!" the little girl yelled. "No, no, no, no, no!" She hit her fists on Kara's arms to punctuate each word. "You're lying; why are you lying?"

"I'm not lying, Kace. Gods, I wish I was."

"I don't have any other mommy. You're my mommy! Don't you want me anymore?!?"

Kara could feel her own eyes spill. "I love you, Kacey. More than I had ever thought was possible. Don't EVER forget that. Of course I want you."

"I don't want another mommy. I want you."

Kara gathered the little girl up in her lap, smoothing her curly blonde hair. "I'm not letting you go, kiddo. I promise you that. But there have been too many lies and too many secrets, and I wanted you to start hearing the truth, okay?"

Kacey sniffled. "Okay."

"I love you, Kacey. None of this changes that."

"I love you, too…Mommy? Daddy said I was special because I was like him and like you…Does that mean I'm not special anymore?"

Kara kissed her forehead. "Not a chance."

"Mommy?" Kacey asked again. "If I have another Mommy…where is she? How come she didn't take care of me?"

"I don't know."

"Can we ask her?"

Kara took a deep, shuddering breath. "Yeah, sweetie...If you want, we can find out."

* * *

TBC... 


	13. Chapter 12

The following day, Lee picked one pilot that had particularly been getting on his nerves lately to go fly a letter over to Julia Prynne. He beat it into the kid's head that under no circumstances was the woman allowed to come over to the Galactica at this time. All Adama wanted for starters was to let her know that Kacey was alive, and safe, and try to get some more information about what had happened to the little girl in order for her to wind up in the hands of the Cylons.

The admiral was waiting in his office when his pilot returned. "How'd it go?" he asked the younger man.

"She was awestruck at first, very much relieved, and then that quickly went in the opposite direction when she learned she couldn't see her daughter. I told her exactly what you said to – that we had to ensure the kid's safety – but that didn't help much."

Adama had already known that that would be true. "What did she tell you?"

"She was detained for a day as a suspected member of the resistance. A couple friends promised to watch her daughter, but the Cylons took her, too. Ms. Prynne assumed she was dead when she wasn't able to locate her after the exodus."

"Is there anyone else who can validate that?"

"That she was detained?"

"No, that her daughter was kidnapped instead of…instead of something else."

"I don't know, sir. The woman seemed pretty well liked over on the liner. I didn't get a sense that she was lying or covering anything up."

Adama nodded. "That'll be all, Lieutenant."

* * *

By Colonial Law – which they still tried to follow whenever possible – Julia Prynne had every right to get her child back. The effect of the ordeal on Kacey's health would be taken into account, but Adama had no recourse for keeping her birth mother away from her any longer. Therefore, arrangements were made to bring Julia to Galactica and meet her child for the first time in three years. 

Lee had to knock twice on Kara's hatch before she answered, her face an absolute mask but her eyes betraying her emotions. She was terrified, and he hated the fact that they had to do this to her. "Are you ready?" he asked her, mentally kicking himself for actually voicing the question. _What the frak do you think??_ he berated himself.

"Does it matter if I'm ready?" Kara snapped at him. Lee didn't answer. "Come here, Kace," she called to the little girl, taking her hand when she got close enough. As much as she REALLY didn't want to be present at this meeting, Kara was also afraid that if she didn't go, she was never going to see Kacey again. The three of them walked through Galactica's halls in silence, heading towards the conference room.

Adama was already there, waiting with Julia Prynne and trying his best to find some fatal flaw with the woman that would save them from what was about to come. In all honesty, though, he was coming up empty. Life on the Pan Global Liner definitely couldn't compare to living on the Intersun Luxury Liner, but then again, neither could life on the Galactica. She hadn't had so much as a speeding ticket back on her homeworld of Leonis, and had lost her husband, a political aide, in the attack.

"They went through a lot," he was trying to explain to the woman. "Kara hasn't yet been able to talk about it, and I'm not sure if she ever will. They were completely cut off from all human contact. Kara has raised her for the past three years."

Julia offered a small smile. "I'm grateful to your pilot, Admiral, for taking care of Kacey. I know it'll be a big change, but now she can have a life with her family."

"I don't think you understand, Ms. Prynne. Kacey has a family. She believed that Kara was her mother and she was told that Kacey was her daughter." The petite blonde's jaw hung open slightly, her mind reeling at that revelation.

"Why would anyone…"

"We don't have an answer for that. I just wanted to let you know. Going slow would probably be best for everyone."

The hatch opened, and Julia was instantly on her feet. Lee, Kara, and Kacey came inside, and everyone just stared at each other for a long moment. Despite the Admiral's caution, she couldn't help but move toward her daughter, reaching for her. Julia froze in shock when Kacey moved back, hiding behind Kara's leg.

"Hey, sweetie," she told the child, tears beginning to spill down her cheeks. "I know it's been a really long time, but I was so, so happy when I found out that you were safe."

Kacey looked up at Kara for a cue was to what she was supposed to do. The ex-Colonial officer could distinctly feel her heart break as she pried the little girl off of her leg, giving her a little push forward. "Say, hello, Kace," she told her.

"Hi," the child whispered.

Julia smiled. "Can I get a hug?" she asked. Gingerly, Kacey took another step forward and let her mother wrap her arms around her. "Mama missed you so much," Julia whispered to her.

That got an immediate reaction. Kacey pushed her way out of the embrace, making her way back to Kara's side. "You're not my mommy," she proclaimed.

"Kacey – "

"You're not my mommy!" she repeated, her voice rising in volume and pitch.

"Yes, sweetheart, I am. You were taken away from me, and I didn't know how to find you. Do you remember? Do you remember living with me?"

Kacey shook her head. "I want to leave," she told Kara, who picked her up.

"No, you can't – " Julia started to protest, but Adama cut her off.

"Take her back to your quarters," he told Kara, who didn't hesitate before complying.

Julia was livid. "You can't keep her from me! She needs to get used to me, we need to get to know each other again."

"My main concern is making sure nobody gives that little girl more than she can handle. I think both of you could use some time to think about what you've learned and what comes next."

"You have no right and no authority to keep me away from my child."

"No, I don't…and therefore you'll be able to see her whenever Kacey wishes." He didn't wait for her to respond as he turned to Lee. "Can you see that Ms. Prynne is given quarters?"

"Yes, Sir." Adama nodded, and headed for the door. The meeting was over. Julia was left struggling to figure out what had just happened. "Follow me," Lee told her.

* * *

TBC... 

**A/N: I've gotten a couple questions about why I don't have Kara falling to pieces at this point. Just like in "Rapture" (and "You Can't Go Home Again") when she refused to cry after getting injured, I see her as the kind of person that would take comfort in pretending to be strong, even when she's not. She's already been 'weak' for the past three years, and is now desperate to do anything that makes her feel like she's got some power. Hiding in a corner won't do that. Of course, pretending only works for so long...But anyway, that was my thought process.**


	14. Chapter 13

Lee stopped by Kara and Kacey's quarters after seeing to it that Julia was set up, and that a marine would be roaming around to make sure she didn't try anything. "She's asleep," Kara quietly told him when she opened the hatch. "Wouldn't stop crying. Finally she just…" Lee grimly nodded. The past several days had held a lot for the four-and-a-half-year-old to deal with, maybe too much.

"She's an amazing kid, Kara. You can probably take most of the credit for that."

"I don't want to do this to her…or to myself. It feels like everything's spiraling out of control and there's nothing to grab to keep my balance."

Slowly, carefully, Lee took her hand. Kara looked up and held his gaze for a long moment before pulling her hand away. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Thought I might be able to give you an anchor…Or at least try."

Anger smoldered in her eyes as she took a couple steps back from him, leaning against the wall. "Now you know how it feels, huh?" she tightly asked. Lee looked down, somewhat cowed. Not many people knew what had driven them apart nearly four years earlier, mainly because the truth would have hurt more people than the silence did.

It hadn't been too much of a surprise when he heard that Kara and Anders were getting married, although it had left a bitter taste in his mouth. Lee had never had the guts to go after what he wanted, and therefore he lost her. Using Dee as a consolation prize had been easy – too easy. He'd never expected that Kara would come to him the day after her wedding, asking him if she'd made the wrong choice. She'd tried to offer herself, offer to annul what she'd done the night before, but he'd been angry with her and even more so with himself. A violent frak gave way to a heated argument that ended with punches being thrown. He hadn't seen her again after that morning until the day she'd landed on Galactica in a heavy raider.

It wasn't exactly the same situation, but he now had a taste of what it had felt like to have her offer of shelter in a storm thrown back in her face. "Yeah," he quietly replied. "Yeah, I do."

Kara softened at that, almost as though thoughts of the past had suddenly opened the floodgates and everything from those four years crashed down upon her at once. She tried to stay strong – to stay Starbuck – but she'd lost that persona a long time ago. She'd had to in order to survive without losing her mind; there was no way that someone as independent and defiant as 'Starbuck' could justify some of the things that she'd had to do.

Lee was momentarily stunned when Kara slid down the wall to sit on the floor, curled up in a ball with her face hidden in her knees. "Kara?" he whispered as he knelt at her side, gingerly putting a hand on her shoulder. She didn't shrug him off, and he could feel her crying. She'd cried more since the founding of New Caprica than she had in her entire life beforehand. It scared her; who was she now?

"Do you think it's possible to go back?" she finally asked.

"Go back to what?"

Kara lifted her head and looked him in the eye. "Back to who we were before. Before we…did so many things to each other. Before I knew what it was like to lose someone that you'd give anything for."

Lee glanced back at Kacey's still-sleeping form. "You haven't lost her yet, Kara."

"But I'm going to…and I wish to the Gods that I could just…not care. How do I find that person that didn't care about anything other than cockpit time, a good card game, and being a pain in the ass for anyone she had to say 'Yes, Sir,' to?"

Lee watched her critically. "Do you really want to find her again? Do you really want to go back to that, knowing what you know now?" He didn't get an answer. "You've learned a lot, Kara, and yeah, you've become a different person, but I don't really see that as such a bad thing. If there's anything I've learned from you…loving somebody is always worth it, even when it hurts like hell. It keeps us human."

"She was my one good constant," Kara finally whispered. "I couldn't ever let go before, because I knew she needed me. I couldn't leave her alone…All that's different now."

"Not the things that matter. You still love her, and she knows that, and she still loves you. Just…hold onto that."

* * *

It was late when Lee got back to his quarters. He assumed that Dee was asleep in their rack, and so tried to be as quiet as possible as he changed out of his uniform and got his things out of his locker to go take a shower. He slipped back out the door and down the hall to the pilot's washroom. The warm water felt good as it cascaded over him, relieving the tension that filled his whole body. 

He knew that was hitting dangerous territory at this point – it wasn't like his feelings for Kara had vanished as the years went by, but he'd thought she was dead, so it had been a moot point. But now she was back, and learning to lean on him a little more every day, trying to learn how to trust once again. He'd put himself in this position on purpose, wishing that old wounds could be healed. The scars were indeed beginning to fade, and now Lee was left to wonder exactly how smart of an idea this was. He was a married man, and Kara sure as hell didn't need any more complications in her life at the moment. Was this whole thing actually going to help, or was it just stupidly selfish on his part?

Back in the bunkroom, Dee stared up at the ceiling of her bunk and waited for her husband to return. She was well aware of where he'd spent most of his day, and didn't like the fact that she'd learned from the grapevine instead of from Lee himself – he'd told her that morning that he had meetings with his father and pilots all day. The fact that he didn't feel he could be honest with her about Kara worried her. What else was he hiding?

* * *

TBC... 


	15. Chapter 14

Kacey started to pull away from everyone, including Kara, which was very troubling. She barely talked anymore, and spent most of her time silently playing with toys or just thinking. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with her birth mother, which didn't make Julia happy at all.

"She's still my child," the woman told Adama after she'd been waiting around an entire week for some kind of contact with her little girl. "I'm not one of your soldiers; it's not up to you to decide what's best for my family."

"No," he agreed. "It's up to me to decide what's best for MY family. Kara Thrace – and Kacey – are part of that family…I thought before that some time would be best for everyone, but it doesn't appear that that's worked. You should be able to have contact with her, but I hope you agree that it would be best to start slow."

"This isn't slow," she shot back, "It's frozen in place."

"Would sharing meals with her be acceptable? Every other day for now, and see how that goes? Maybe lunch tomorrow to start with?"

Julia nodded. "To start with," she agreed. "I love my daughter, Admiral. I want her back. I'll do anything I have to for that."

* * *

Lunch the next day did not go well. Kacey was silent the entire meal, as she had been for the past few days. Julia tried talking with her about things from when she'd been younger and telling her about her life now on the Pan Global Liner, but she didn't get any response. 

"Can we go now?" Kacey asked Kara once she was done eating. She wanted nothing more than to say yes and walk out the door, but she could see the look of longing on Julia's face.

"You want another cookie?" she asked the little girl. She shook her head.

"I want to leave."

"I-it's okay," Julia finally said. "I'll see you the day after tomorrow, okay, Kacey?" she asked her daughter. Kacey was silent.

Two days later, Julia brought along a prop. "Do you remember this?" she asked the little girl, showing her a small stuffed lion. "You used to go to sleep with this every night. Leo, your lion." Kara visibly paled at the sound of the name. "What is it?" Julia asked her.

"N-nothing." Kacey took the toy, but didn't say a word. "Kace, say thank you," Kara prompted.

"Thank you," she quietly said.

"You're welcome, honey…You don't remember, do you?" Kacey shook her head. "That's okay. You were very little."

Kacey opened up a little more as the meal progressed, even cracking a smile at one point for the first time in over a week. The third meeting went a little better than the second, and the fourth was a little better than the third. Kara was counting the days until she lost the one thing that had been keeping her alive for three years – and dreading it more than she'd ever been afraid of anything in her life.

* * *

On the day of Kacey's sixth lunch with Julia, Kara was helping the little girl get her shoes on when a knock sounded on their hatch. Sharon was waiting in the hallway. "She ready?" the Cylon asked as Kara opened the hatch. 

"Yeah, just about." She finished with Kacey's shoes and walked her over to the door. "You go with Sharon, okay, Kace?"

She frowned. "You're not coming?"

"Not today," Kara replied. "I, um…I've got some stuff to take care of…Have fun, okay?"

Kacey slowly nodded. Sharon glanced at the little girl before taking a step closer to Kara. "Are you sure about this?" she asked.

Kara briskly nodded. "Yeah. I'm not going to watch her slip away little by little."

Sharon finally agreed. "Okay, come on, kiddo," she told Kacey, leading her down the hallway. Kara shut the hatch behind them and leaned against it, trying to crawl back from the mental ledge that her emotions were trying to push her over.

She moved away from the door, going to look over the paperwork she'd had Lee give her. He wanted her help with classroom training, if she was up for it, and she therefore needed a primer on the Galactica's current air group.

As she looked over the reports, she thought she heard a noise in the room, but it faded before she could be sure. A few minutes later, it was back and a little louder, but she couldn't decipher the source. By the fourth time it sounded, she knew what it was – a baby crying. For the first several days after her son's death, she'd been haunted by dreams about him, but they'd faded with time. She hadn't thought about him much since arriving back on Galactica, trying to direct her focus upon nothing other than Kacey and putting her life back together. She didn't want to think about New Caprica, about Leoben, about her baby, or about all the choices she'd made.

"It's not real," she whispered to herself, eyes closed, as the sound got louder, more insistent. "He'd dead; this isn't real…"

The noise faded off and Kara slowly opened her eyes. She was alone in her quarters, surrounded by nothing by silence and emptiness.

* * *

Julia was surprised to see Kacey arrive in the Mess Hall without Kara, but treasured her time with her daughter too much to put much of an effort into questioning it. Sharon told her that she'd be back in two hours, and then left them to have their lunch together. Kacey was noticeably quieter than the last visit while they ate. 

"Are you all right?" Julia asked the little girl at one point. She shrugged. "Is Kara sick?"

"No…she was sad."

"Sad? About what?"

"I don't know…I think about me."

Julia sighed. She was getting everything she wanted as she slowly got closer to the little girl she'd lost, but she wasn't so blinded by her happiness that she couldn't see how much Kara was losing. "You love her very much, don't you?" she asked Kacey.

She nodded. "She's my mommy."

"You're a very lucky little girl, you know. Not everyone gets two mommies. And not everyone who's in a…a scary situation has someone care about them as much as Kara cares about you." Kacey was quiet, eyes downcast. "I have an idea that I want you to think about, okay?"

"Okay."

"Next time I see you, how about we take a little trip?"

"Where?"

"To my ship. Just for a little while; we don't have to stay any longer than you want to. I have some things there that used to be yours when you were a little baby and you lived with me. You can show them to Kara if you'd like to. Let her be a part of your life then, like I've gotten to be a part of your life now." Kacey considered that for a long moment.

"It could make Mommy happy again?" she finally asked.

Julia smiled. "Yeah. I think it would be a nice surprise for her."

Kacey returned her grin. "Okay."

* * *

TBC... 

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. My whole apartment got the flu and/or colds this week, so anything other than sleeping took more effort than was usually available. I'm in the process of re-doing some of the coming chapters, but hopefully I'll now get back to my normal posting schedule.**


	16. Chapter 15

Adama couldn't say that he was entirely surprised when he received Julia's request, he just hadn't expected that Kacey would agree to it so soon. "Did you know about this?" he asked Kara when he invited her over to his quarters.

"Kacey told me. She wants to have lunch with Julia on her ship instead of Galactica."

"Are you going with them? Sharon told me you missed the meeting today."

Kara glared. "Sharon's got a big mouth."

"I play chess with her every week…and she knows that I trust her to tell me the things I need to know about my crew."

"Right…No, I'm not going."

Adama slowly nodded. "Should I ask why not?"

"She's her mother, right? She…she's gotta get used to being with her."

He sighed. "Are you sure this is the way you want things to go, Kara?"

"Does it actually ever matter how I want things to go?" Adama wasn't sure what to answer to that. "I don't actually need permission to leave anymore, do I?" Kara asked, referring to the fact that she wasn't officially an officer anymore.

"No, you don't," he quietly replied.

"Good," she answered before walking out the hatch. Of course she didn't actually want to let this happen, but Kara didn't think she had any choice. It was stupid logic, but early in life, she'd decided that it hurt less to be the one doing the leaving instead of the one being left.

* * *

There wasn't any real reason to deny Julia what she was asking, although a little voice in the back of the Admiral's head was telling him that this could turn out to be a bad idea. He did his best to ignore the voice as he spoke with Julia in his office. 

"I'll have one of my pilots fly you over to your ship," he told her. "He'll stay with you, just to ensure that everything goes well. If Kacey would like to have more of these trips, we can all discuss that together afterwards."

He was a bit surprised when Julia simply nodded. "Thank you, Admiral," she told him. "I know you care a great deal for your crew, and I'm sorry that this hasn't been easier on Captain Thrace. I don't want to hurt her any more than I want to hurt my daughter. I hope you can understand that."

Adama nodded. "I do."

* * *

Kara did a good job of pretending that her life was actually moving closer to normalcy instead of falling apart. She chose to keep busy for a little while with work on the deck instead of sitting alone in her quarters while Kacey and Julia were gone. Tyrol made sure everybody knew to leave her alone while she inspected one of their new breed of fighter planes; Kara would come to them if she needed anything. 

Tinkering around with the inside of a fighter was like second nature, even if the hardware was new. Familiarizing herself with all the nuts and bolts and wires kept her hands busy, but unfortunately Kara's mind was still focused on everything else going on in her life. She knew the Chief had meant well – truth be told, she didn't really want to have to deal with his knuckle-draggers following her around – but the solitude only added to how alone she already felt.

Kacey had been highly excited about her surprise, and thus had been very tight-lipped about her plans for the visit to the Pan Global Liner, completely unaware of the effect that was having on Kara. All she knew was that Kacey wanted to see her real mother's home – a piece of information that could easily be manipulated to the point of Kacey thinking her life on the Galactica was no longer good enough, or Kara herself was no longer good enough for the little girl. From there, it wasn't all that far of a leap to thinking that she really couldn't be a mother; she'd seemingly failed each time she tried.

Falling back into old habits, Kara had two options at that point on what to do with her free time: something flight related, or something alcohol related. Since the trip was only supposed to last a few hours, the first of those options was supposed to be the safest. Then again, since her mind was wandering while she worked, that assumption didn't necessarily hold true.

"Frak!" Kara exclaimed as a stuck panel finally came loose and the metal edge tore at the inside of her left arm. She stared down at the gash, frozen in surprise, as the blood spilled.

"You okay over there?" she heard Tyrol call from a couple workstations away.

"Y-yeah," she shakily responded, even though she clearly wasn't. Dark red liquid was dripping from her forearm and wrist onto the floor, and didn't look like it was going to stop without some effort. But it didn't hurt – even the initial slice had only caused a brief sting. She was completely numb as a crucial element to being alive flowed away. If something that could kill you caused so little pain, then why did everything else hurt so much? The whole moment had Kara mesmerized to the point where it didn't even dawn on her to try and stop the bleeding.

"Captain?" Tyrol's voice again, although it sounded even farther away than the last time. Kara thought about correcting him – she didn't have a rank anymore – but realized that she couldn't. Moving her head took more energy than what she had, so talking was out of the question. How much blood had she lost? How long had she just been sitting there? How long did she have left?

Tyrol rounded the front of the Mark VIII fighter and froze for a second when Kara finally came into view. She was underneath the plane, somewhat slumped against the landing strut, staring motionless at the river of blood coming from her arm.

"Holy frak," he muttered before grabbing the closest rag he saw and pressing it against the wound. "Kara? Kara, can you hear me?" She didn't answer. "Somebody call for a godsdamn medic!"

* * *

TBC... 


	17. Chapter 16

When the Raptor arrived back from the Pan Global Liner that afternoon, Adama was waiting on the hangar deck. Kacey smiled at him as she came over, Julia not far behind her. "Hi!"

He tried to force a smile. "Hi, Kacey. You need to come with me."

"Where?"

"We need to talk about…about your mom."

The little girl looked around, seemingly only then realizing that Kara was supposed to be meeting her, and she wasn't there. "Where is she?"

The Admiral motioned them over to a somewhat quieter area of the hangar. "We're not exactly sure what happened, but…she was hurt pretty badly."

"Is she going to be all right?" Julia asked him.

"The Doc hopes so…She cut her arm, and lost a lot of blood." He didn't elaborate much further, not wanting to scare Kacey with the details. Both adults were surprised when the little girl suddenly hurled the small bag she was holding at the nearest wall.

"I shouldn'ta gone," she said, trembling with emotion as she remembered a conversation with her mother from nearly two months prior. "I can't leave…You wanted me to leave her, to hurt her," she accused Julia.

"What? No, Kacey, I thought we would surprise her."

She didn't want to hear it. "Go away! Leave me and Mommy alone!"

"Kacey, please – "

The child turned away from her mother, looking up at Adama. "I want to see Mommy." He quickly glanced at Julia before taking the little girl's hand and leading her out of the hanger.

* * *

Kacey stood beside Kara's bed in the Life Station for a long moment, watching her unconscious form. Adama had been worried the sight would frighten her, but she didn't seem afraid, just sad.

"You want to hold her hand?" Lee quietly asked the little girl, who nodded. He lifted her up to sit on the edge of the bed, and she gently took Kara's fingers within her own.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," she told her. "I'm sorry. I won't break my promise again; I won't go away. Lee swallowed hard around the lump in his throat as she quietly repeated, "I'm sorry," over and over.

"It's not your fault, Kacey," he told her. "It's not…Your mom's sick, but we're going to get her better again…She'll be okay." She stared up at him for a long moment before reaching out to take his hand with her free one.

* * *

Hours later, Lee opened the hatch to his bunkroom, stepping inside and sinking down to sit on the bench in the middle of the room. Kacey had refused to leave Kara's side, so Adama was staying the night with them in the Life Station and Lee would return in the morning.

He jumped slightly at the sound of a curtain being pulled back. Dee was propped up on an elbow in their bunk, her eyes hard. "Where were you?" she asked.

"What?"

"We were supposed to have dinner together, what – five hours ago now?"

Lee sighed, putting his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Dee."

"You were with her again, weren't you?"

"Dee – "

"It's a simple question, Lee."

The question was simple, but nothing else was. It seemed obvious that Dee hadn't tried to find out the circumstances of his disappearance, and there was only reason for that – she didn't care. And if she didn't care, then Lee was definitely too tired to get into it. She was looking for a fight, and he was obliged to give her one, as long as it would be quick. "Frak it, Dee; yeah, I was. Satisfied?"

She sniffed. "I find it interesting, Lee, that you're so eager to spend every frakking day with her and that little girl, but you've constantly refused to even think about having a family with me."

Apparently this wasn't going to be quick. "That's not fair," he shot back.

"No, Lee, it's not. I'm supposed to be your wife." He looked away. "Do you love her?"

"What?!?"

"Do. You. Love. Her?"

It would have been easy to lie. To say 'no' like he meant it and to force himself to look her in the eye so she'd believe it. But then they'd have this argument again the next night and the next night and every other night that he proved it was a lie with his actions. Lee was tired of lying. He was tired of absolutely everything.

"Yes," he quietly admitted, his eyes intently focused on the floor. Lee could hear a surprised little sob escape her throat. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "I think I've always known. I-it sounds frakking horrible, but I was almost glad when she was gone. I had hoped…that maybe one day you would love me the same way. Now…"

"I…I do love you, Dee."

"But not like her. Not like someone you would want a future with…We've been lying to ourselves for almost four years, Lee. I think it's time for that to stop."

She got up, coming over to stand in front of him. Gently, with one finger, she tipped up his chin so he was looking at her. Dee leaned forward and kissed him, one last time, before turning and walking out of the room.

* * *

Lee was dreading going to the CIC the following morning. He had to drop off the patrol schedule – the rest of the universe didn't stop for his problems, no matter how much he wished it did – and knew that Dee was supposed to be on duty. He had no idea how painful the experience was going to be, and on top of that, he eventually did have to tell his father that he'd totally frakked up his marriage before the Old Man heard it from the grapevine.

Walking into Galactica's nerve center, Lee headed over to where Tigh was standing at the center console. "CAP rotation for the week," he said, handing over a clipboard. The XO quickly scanned it.

"Looks okay. I'll get it back to you by the end of the day."

Lee nodded. "Thank you, Sir."

"How's Thrace doing?" the Colonel asked.

"Not sure yet. I'm on my way down there."

Tigh nodded. "Knowing her, I'm sure she'll pull through."

"Yes, Sir."

Lee nearly jumped when he turned around and found that Dee was standing right behind him. To his surprise, though, she seemed completely professional. "Morning, Major," she said.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," he replied, albeit a little hesitantly. He wasn't expecting her to follow him as he left the room. In the somewhat-more-private hallway, Lee stopped, waiting to see what she wanted.

"I heard what happened yesterday," she quietly told him. "Where you were. I don't know why you couldn't just tell me, but…maybe that just reaffirms the fact that what we did last night was the right decision." Lee was silent, unsure what his reply to that was supposed to be.

Without looking away from him, Dee slipped her ring off of her finger and pressed it into his hand. "Goodbye, Lee," she whispered before returning to her post. He considered the metal band for a long moment before pulling off his own as well and continuing down the corridor.

* * *

TBC... 


	18. Chapter 17

When Lee got down to the Life Station, he let his father go back up to get some work done in his office. Kacey was having breakfast, sitting on the edge of Kara's bed with a bowl of oatmeal in her hands. According to Adama, the little girl had refused to be farther than arm's reach from her the whole night. They knew Kacey was blaming herself and tried to tell her otherwise, but they didn't know about the promise she'd made her mother while they were together on New Caprica. Kacey remembered how strong her fear had been of losing Kara; she'd never intended to make her feel the same way.

Lee was struggling with his own thoughts as he watched Kara's still and pale form on the bed. Everyone was reluctant to actually conclude that she'd been trying to kill herself. It had just been an accident. But they all also knew that something else was going on, something that could have resulted in a much worse outcome than the one they'd had. Lee couldn't figure out why he hadn't seen it coming. He'd thought that he was taking care of her, helping her. He knew that things were difficult, but…when were they not? How much had New Caprica really changed her? The good changes were easy to see – like Kacey – but obviously other things had done even more harm to an already damaged human being. He wished with all his heart that there was someone that he could make someone pay for that. Even with all of their disagreements and right hooks, he knew that she didn't deserve what had been done to her.

"Mommy?" Lee heard Kacey ask, snapping him out of his thoughts. She'd put down her bowl, and was holding Kara's hand, intently watching her.

"What happened, Kace?" he asked.

"Mommy moved."

Lee sat on the edge of the bed as well. "Kara? Can you hear me?"

After what seemed like an eternity, her eyelids fluttered, and then slowly opened. "Lee?"

He smiled. "Yeah, I'm right here. So is Kacey."

Kara's focus shifted to the little girl. "Hey, Kace."

"I'm sorry, Mommy," she told her again. "I won't go away again, I promise. You'll always be my real Mommy and I love you."

Kara seemed confused for a moment, then looked down and saw the bandages on her arm. She gave the little girl a tired smile. "I love you, too…And I-I'm sorry as well." She looked up at Lee, and their eyes locked for a moment, volumes being spoken without a single word being voiced. They had a lot to talk about, but this wasn't the time.

"I'm going to go get the Doc," he finally said. "I'll be right back."

* * *

Kacey had been awake for much of the night, so she finally conked out in Kara's arms, happy and secure in the knowledge that things would be okay. Cottle had decided he was keeping Kara for another day or two, and she was going to have to talk to somebody on his staff, but she didn't protest as much as anyone thought she would. 

"Tired?" Lee asked her as he sat in the chair by her bed.

"Somewhat. Doc said that was to be expected."

"Yeah…You really scared us, Kara."

There was a long silence. "I scared myself," she finally said.

That threw him for a loop for a moment. "So you weren't…"

"No."

Lee nodded. "Good…I saw the Chief come in the ready room with your blood all over him, and I think my heart stopped for a moment. Actually, I think TIME stopped for a moment…I lost you four years ago, and I just got you back. I wasn't prepared to deal with the possibility of losing you again so soon."

There was silence for a moment. "Didn't you mean three years ago?" she finally asked.

Lee was stunned for a second, and then shook his head. "No, I meant four…I lost you from myself long before we lost you to New Caprica. We've got another chance now, and I can't keep track of what number this is, but I'll be damned if I'm going to waste it."

Kara sighed, closing her eyes. "You don't want me, Lee. You've already said that."

"I've also said I love you, and you believed me on that, too."

"You're married."

He held up his bare-fingered left hand. "Not for long. Dee's always known the truth. So have we, we were just too afraid to act on it."

Before she could come up with some other protest, the curtain around her bed was pulled back slightly and one of the deckhands appeared in the opening. "Sorry, Sir," he told Lee. "We found this down on the deck," he held up the bag that Kacey had thrown the previous day. "We tried to give it back to the woman that had been on the Raptor but she said that it belonged to Captain Thrace and Kacey. We heard Starbuck was okay, so I thought I'd bring it up."

"Gods, the grapevine's running at FTL speed these days?" Kara quietly asked Lee. He just smiled.

"Thank you, Petty Officer," he said, reaching for the bag. The younger man handed it to him and left. "Should we see what's in here?"

"Go ahead," Kara told him. Lee undid the flap on the top and reached inside. The first thing he pulled out looked like an article of clothing – for a very small person.

"A sleeper?" he asked Kara as he handed the tiny pink outfit to her. "There's no way that Kacey can still fit in that."

"Not by a long shot," she agreed. There were a couple more outfits of varying sizes but all of them were far too small for the sleeping little girl. Underneath them were a couple toys, like a stuffed bear and a colorful ball. "Are these all things from when she was little?" Kara wondered. "From when Julia had her?"

"Uh-huh," a little voice said, and they both looked to see that Kacey was awake. "We wanted to show you, Mommy. It was a surprise. You like it?"

Kara kissed the top of her head. "Yeah, I do."

Kacey picked up the first outfit they'd found. "My other Mommy told me 'bout them. This was the first thing I wore when I was born. Wasn't I little?"

"Yeah, you were. You were pretty little when…when you came to me, too."

"Yeah, but I'm big now. This one," she picked up a little yellow dress, "I wore for my first birthday. I don't like dresses, but I guess I did then."

"I was never much of a fan, either," Kara told her. Kacey smiled. "Keep going; what else did you bring back? I want to see all of it."

The little girl eagerly started to explain to her captive audience. Kara understood that nothing was going to make losing Kacey hurt less, but at least she could make the most of the time they had.

* * *

TBC... 


	19. Chapter 18

Later that night, Lee took Kacey up to the mess hall to get some dinner and let Kara have a little bit of time to herself. She'd sworn up and down to him that she wouldn't do anything rash - like escape the infirmary - while he was gone. However, earlier in the day, she had asked one of the med techs to deliver a message for her, and Kara was glad to see that its recipient had a good sense of timing.

"I was hoping you'd get here about now," she told Julia as the other woman sat by her bed. "Lee and Kacey just left, and…I didn't think we needed an audience." She nodded. "I saw the things that you gave to Kacey…from when she was younger."

"Good. That was all that I wanted, Kara. I wasn't trying to…I've learned a lot in the past month, and none of it was what I was expecting. These three years, not a day went by that I didn't wish Kacey was still alive, still with me. But now I understand…it took time, but I learned how to keep on living without her. And every day during those same years, you were the one learning to need her."

"Julia – "

"It's okay. I know that's not your fault. I wish there was someone to blame, but…I love my daughter, Kara. I love her very much, and that's never going to change. But I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have. Maybe someday she'll learn to trust both of us, but right now…right now she's still so little, and I know her life is with you."

Kara was speechless for a long moment. "A-are you serious?"

Julia bravely smiled a little. "Yeah, I think so. I'd still like to be able to see her, but…she can stay here, if that's where she's happy."

She wasn't exactly sure what to say in response to that, how any words would ever be enough. "Thank you," finally found its way out of her mouth. Julia nodded.

"You're welcome. Take care of her, Kara."

"I will."

* * *

Cottle let Kara out of the Life Station the following afternoon. She was still tired and all of her issues were obviously going to need time in order to be worked out, but knowing that she wasn't going to lose Kacey had definitely helped. 

Upon opening the hatch to her quarters, she realized that a small vase with a few multi-colored flowers was just inside. Acquiring plants was no small feat these days, and Kara couldn't help but smile slightly. "Where did these come from?" Lee asked as he came in behind her, holding Kacey's hand.

"You mean this wasn't your doing?"

He smiled. "I've got some connections, but they're not this good." As Kara picked up the vase, she noticed a note taped to the side.

I LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO THAT KARA THRACE DOESN'T LIVE BY ANYBODY ELSE'S EXPECTATIONS, LEAST OF ALL MINE, the slip of paper read. I'M SORRY. SAM

"Did you put him up to this?" Kara asked Lee.

He looked at the note. "No, I swear. I haven't talked to him since that day. I guess things seemed a little different once he'd calmed down."

Kara smiled. "I'm going to get changed, okay?" she said. "Do you mind watching Kacey for a few minutes?"

"Yeah, no problem." Once the bathroom door had closed, he smiled at the little girl. "Pretty flowers, huh?" he asked her. "Normally I'd be concerned, but this is a special circumstance. You let me know if anyone else starts dropping off flowers for your mom, okay?"

Kacey solemnly nodded. "Okay."

"Good…There's something else I could use your help with, too."

"Like what?"

"Well, there's something special coming up, and I want to plan a surprise for your mom."

"A good surprise?"

Lee smiled. "I'm hoping that it's going to be very good."

* * *

A couple weeks later, Kara had started working on classroom sessions with the pilots again. It was nice to be back to doing what she loved – and just as nice to be able to go home to Kacey at the end of the day. Every day she was getting a little bit better at fitting the pieces of her life together, the old with the new. 

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," she told the pilots that she was working with as they finished their session. "Good hunting to anyone who's got CAP in the morning."

"See ya, Starbuck," a few of them called.

Lee was waiting for her out in the hall. "How'd things go?" he asked her as they walked toward her quarters.

"Pretty good. A couple of them are probably a little too eager to go get themselves killed, but there are a few of those every time."

"So say we all," Lee agreed. "You checked a calendar recently?"

"No. Should I have?"

"You tell me. Does the 16th day of Gamelion have any meaning to you?" Kara actually stopped walking in the middle of the hallway.

"Are you serious?" she asked. Lee chuckled, taking her arm and continuing down the corridor.

"No, I made it up," he replied. "Of course I'm serious. Happy Birthday, Kara."

When they arrived at her quarters, Lee pushed open the door to see that Kacey and her baby-sitter for the afternoon, Sharon, were putting the finishing touches on their decorations. Colorful paper streamers crisscrossed around the room. "Happy Birthday!" the little girl exclaimed.

"Thank you," Kara told her.

"Did we do a good job?" Kacey asked Lee.

"You did a very good job."

Kara smiled at Sharon. "Thanks for helping her."

"No problem. Happy Birthday, and I want hear all about this party later." Kara nodded.

* * *

They had special food from the mess hall, including dessert. All the excitement and sugar eventually got to Kacey, and she wound up falling asleep in Kara's arms as she sat on her bed. Lee smiled as he watched them from his seat at the desk. "You two are amazing together," he told Kara. "I've got one more present for you." 

"Oh, yeah?" He pulled a little box out of his pocket and opened it for her, since her hands were full with Kacey. Inside was a pair of pilot's wings.

"I talked to the Doc and my dad. You're clear to start training to get re-checked out to fly." Kara carefully shifted Kacey to lie her down on the bed, and then reached to touch the shiny metal object. She felt like a senior citizen most days down on the deck. Everyone had at least heard of the legendary Starbuck at some point, but there wasn't anyone left that she'd trained or actually flown with. The change to return to the stars herself was perhaps the greatest gift that Lee could give.

"Never thought I'd get to wear these again," she quietly said. "Thank you…I guess I've got a present for you, too."

"My birthday's not for another three months," he said with a smile.

"Well, then I guess this is a little early." As she pulled off her gray jacket, he instantly noticed what she'd done – the large black tattoo that had covered most of her upper left arm was gone.

"I take it you talked to Sam?" he asked.

"Yeah. The people that we used to be don't exist anymore…so now we've got chances for different lives."

Lee smiled. "Sounds good."

"I wanted to thank you, Lee, for everything you've done for us. I know…Things are never simple with us, huh?"

"Simple would be boring."

"Even so…I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and…I want to tell you about what happened to us on New Caprica."

He sat forward a little bit in his seat. "Are you sure? I mean…you think you're ready to go through that?"

"I don't know. But that frakking shrink keeps telling me that I'm supposed to be working on trust, right? I've gotta begin somewhere and this…this seems like a good place to start."

Lee nodded. "Okay…We can do this however you want."

"I know; I'm just not sure where to begin."

"You could always pull a Starbuck and start with the middle…or the end."

Kara smiled slightly. "In that case…I had a son. And he really was a hybrid…"

Lee stayed and listened for the rest of the night. The more he heard, the more he knew that things were going to be all right. It was going to take time and patience, but that was okay. They'd been through too much to give up now.

* * *

TBC... 

As always, feedback is appreciated.


	20. Epilogue

**A/N: Originally, the previous chapter was the end, but I made up an epilogue when my roommates protested. 8-)**

* * *

"I don't have to go, Mom, I swear," nine-year-old Kacey Thrace proclaimed as she, Kara, and Lee walked through the Galactica's halls toward the hangar. It was at least the twentieth time those words had come from her mouth that morning. 

"You already have your shuttle ticket, Kace," Kara told her, pointing to the slip in the little girl's hands. It was for that morning's flight over to the Pan Global Liner. Kacey would be leaving Galactica for only the second time since she'd arrived on the ship, traveling to spend the week with her birth mother.

"I'm sure someone else would want it. I could just stay here, and Julia could come to our ship, like she always does."

Kara stopped in the hallway, putting a hand on each of her daughter's shoulders. "Kacey, look at me. It's okay, really…It's time for you to do this. I'll be here waiting when you get back." She finally nodded, and they kept walking.

In the hanger, they stopped beside the shuttle to say final goodbyes. Lee knelt down so Kacey could hug him. "You take care of my Mom, okay?" she solemnly asked him as she straightened.

Lee smiled, holding up his left hand. "That's what the wedding rings mean, kiddo."

"I know, just promise me anyway."

He laughed. "All right, I promise."

Kacey turned to Kara next. "You sure?" she asked one last time, for good measure.

"Get on the shuttle, Kace."

"Okay, okay, okay." She made sure she gave her mother an extra good hug. "Faster I leave, the faster I come back," she whispered before she pulled back. Kara smiled.

"Have fun."

Kacey was about to get onboard, then turned and fixed both of them with a stern look, aiming a little finger at each in turn. "No fighting," she warned. "I mean it. I'll ask Grandma and Grandpa as soon as I get back."

"Gods, you are your mother's daughter," Lee groaned, picking her up and setting her up inside the shuttle.

Kacey waved, calling, "Bye, Mom. Bye, Lee," before disappearing from view to go find a seat.

Even after the hatch had been closed and the crews began prepping the ship to go up to the flight deck, Kara still lingered by the door to the hangar. "Are you supposed to be flying today?" Lee asked her.

"Aren't you the one who made the schedule?" she shot back.

Lee decided to try using a different tack. "Gonna stay here until it's clear the landing pod?"

"Something like that…I know I told her to go, but…"

"Yeah, I know. It's gonna be a rough week." Kara murmured something in agreement. "I do know one thing, though."

"Only one thing?" she couldn't help but take a dig. He nudged her in the side.

"Kacey's a smart kid. She knows where home is. Always has."

Kara considered that for a long moment. _So have I_, she thought to herself, but didn't mention it out loud. "I guess I'd better go get a flight suit on, huh?" she finally said. Lee smiled, leaning over to kiss his wife.

"Yeah, you should. Good hunting."

* * *

**Fin. **

**Thanks to everyone who's sent reviews along the way; they're much appreciated. I think my next big project is going to be a sequel to either "Brave" or "Proving Ground" (I'm working on both, it's just a matter of which I finish first.)**


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